As you can see from my picture I am bi-lingual. There is a joy from being able to speak and understand the English language.

But I am not one of those who feels everyone should speak English and speak it fluently.

I say this because by people learning the language some of us have slowly over the years become redundant figures.

I used to be really important and so did many others like me but now we sit at home on weekends and spend our free time watching Audrey Hepburn movies.

There was a time not long a go when the Translator was called into action. More often than not it was during doctor appointments.

The Translator had one job and one job only...to translate.

When an elderly member of the family had a headache it was the Translator's job to tell the doctor exactly what was wrong with their relative.

I was a translator and so was everyone else I knew. But years have passed and everyone speaks the lingo pretty well now so the Translator's job has been made redundant.

You didn't volunteer to become a translator, you did it and that was that!

When the egg and yoghurt man came to the door you had to explain what the order was.

The kitchen was getting fixed and you had to ensure the workmen did the job right.

When some clothes had to be returned to BHS you had to explain why three buttons were missing.

There will be many people reading this who have had an experience of meeting a Translator.

Please forgive those Translators who decided to go on a power trip.

There have been many tales when confusion led to an almighty argument between several people.

All because the Translator went AWOL and decided to have some fun.

Maybe it was the pressure or the fact that he or she became evil overnight but I personally know of one Translator who revelled in such behaviour.

When the milkman came to collect the money he translated..."Ask him if he wants some tea" to "She thinks the milk you gave us yesterday was off."

At the supermarket he translated..."Ask him where the washing powder is" to "He wants to know if he has to pay for the stuff he's stuffed in his jacket."

And finally, the mother of all translations when at the doctors he translated "I've got a pain in my leg" to "Erm...I don't know to put this but...he thinks he's Elvis."