If any of my daughters’ friends read this, chances are they won’t want to come to tea again.
They’ll imagine they’re being scrutinised, as I’m about to pass comment on their eating habits.
That is not to say that all my daughters’ pals have bad table manners – the majority don’t. But there are one or two who don’t appear to have moved on from their highchair days.
Watching them shovel food into their mouths as if they’re stuffing a turkey is, to be honest, stomach-churning. And cleaning up after them demands a high-pressure hose.
Either their parents don’t ever eat with them, and haven’t witnessed their chimpanzee-like tendencies, or – and I suspect this is the case – they eat that way themselves and see it as acceptable.
Or maybe they’re just sensual eaters. According to a study by Nestle, good table manners could be a thing of the past. Research found that we are becoming a nation of ‘sensual eaters’, with a third of people interviewed forgoing cutlery and eating with their fingers, and 15 per cent admitting to licking the plate.
When my children are eating, I go into Victorian-father-figure mode and tick them off should they hold their cutlery incorrectly. My dad did the same, and I hated it But as an adult, I’m glad I know how to eat properly, so I’m stepping into his role with vigour.
The problem now is that people don’t sit down to eat at a properly-laid table. More often than not they grab a burger or sandwich and flop onto the sofa. Some newly-built schools don’t have canteens, but central areas with tables and snack bars, to cater for the grazing generation.
And the type of food young people eat lends itself to grabbing with both hands – burgers, fajitas, kebabs. You need to stuff these into your mouth at the speed of light to prevent the contents tumbling out.
I’ve come across children who can barely hold let along use a fork. They wrap their fist around it and set about the food as though digging for buried treasure. It’s more Neanderthal than sensual.
The survey also reveals that more than a third of people save the best food until last. I’ve noticed both adults and children doing this – little piles of chicken or fish piled onto the side of the plate. I assumed it was unwanted leftovers, but when everything else was gone, the mounds disappeared.
I’ve told my daughters that on no account are they to do this, even if everyone else in school does.
And speaking of schools, couldn’t they help out by teaching table manners? It’s surely more important than English and maths.
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