When Old Testament nations strayed there was no messing; no time for earnest PMs to wring futile hands fretting about lost respect.

It was all blood, fire and brimstone.

Thou son of man, prophesy. Thus saith the Lord God: Behold I am against thee. I will smite thee.' What prophecy, I wonder, might we inspire today? Try this for size.

"I knowest thy former deeds, O Britannia, and for those I madest thou great.

"Yet, thou then forsook thy first love for me, and whored after the spirit of the age.

"Thou teacheth my little ones that they're not made in my image but only in that of an hairy creature that swungeth from the jungle.

"Now thy swingers hath grown up without respect, thou hast the cheek to cryeth out about the consequences.

"Yet, still thy leaders refuseth to return to me in whose image they art made. They worship all solutions but mine.

"They boweth before ASBOs and parenting classes, bolting stable gates long after the herd hath well and truly bolted.

"Returneth to me and thou might just stand a chance. Start teaching thy kids who made them, why they're here and where eternally they're going to end up-eth if they don't pull-upeth their socks.

"Educate my way, not yours, and a new generation might undo-eth the harm of this one. He who hath an ear to hear, let him hear."