I’M suffering from a nasty case of Olympic Narcolepsy this week.
What’s that? I hear you ask.
It’s the sensation you get that you will suddenly fall asleep at any moment during the day due to trying to stay awake watching as much of the Olympics as you can the night before, thus causing you to stay up way too late.
It’s funny really – you’d have thought that once you’d seen one lycra-clad man sliding down a snowy mountain on a tea tray you’d seen them all – but oddly it’s more addictive than crack cocaine-flavoured Pringles.
And what about the men’s figure skating too?
This year the competitiors appeared to be dressed in Lady Gaga’s sartorial rejects as they performed.
I’ve not seen as much brightly-coloured lycra, sequins and tassles since the last series of What Katie Did Next.
The commentators provide much entertainment too.
Have you ever wondered what they do in the four-year gap between games though?
Anyway, the term “Olympic Narcolepsy”, in case you were wondering, is one I discovered on a hilarious new website this week.
Urbandictionary.com compiles definitions of weird and wonderful words and phrases meant to describe modern life.
Other favourites that have made me chuckle are:
Vaguebooking: An intentionally vague Facebook status update, that prompts friends to ask what’s going on, or is possibly a cry for help. E.g. Mary is: “wondering if it is all worth it”.
Verbal Handcuffs: When someone won’t stop talking (usually about a subject you have no interest in). The talker has verbally forced you to stand there and listen, even though you have given many clues that you have checked out. Examples: vacant stares, looking at your watch, checking your phone, answering in short one-word phrases.
Guinea Fridge: A refrigeration unit or freezer that resides in the garage.
Yawn Pong: A game played by tired people. In short, one person yawns and then the other person does. Should the original yawner yawn twice before the second person yawns once, player one has one point.
Mondaze: A daze you find yourself in due to it being Monday. E.g. I locked my keys in my car because I was in a total Mondaze. I hate the start of a new work week.
That’s a good question: A phrase usually indicating that the speaker has absolutely no idea how to answer said question. Often used to stall for time.
Wiper Beat: When the windshield wipers on your car sync up with the music on your car radio.
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