ITHINK it might be time to think about getting a new picture to accompany this column.
It’s about three years old now and probably teetering on the edge of false advertising.
I also discovered this week that it’s not a very flattering shot.
I had the pleasure of bumping into fellow Lancashire Telegraph columnist Margo Grimshaw this week and she – rather honestly – told me: “You look much more attractive in real life.”
Upon reporting this exchange at home, my husband admitted that he agreed and said that someone in his office had even commented on it!
So time for a photo shoot.
Of course, I coudn’t possibly get a new picture done right now.
Like any right-thinking woman, I will have to make sure my roots are done and I’m wearing the right amount of make-up and a nice top before having any photo taken that’s likely to be hanging around for a while.
And that brings me to the topic of this week’s column – haircuts.
I’ve had basically the same hairstyle for the last 10 years.
It’s not because I’m boring or have no imagination, it’s just that every time I’ve tried to experiment with something different it’s gone disastrously wrong.
Like the time I had a spiral perm, aged 11, because my best friend Alycia was having one done.
Hers looked great, mine looked horrific and was brushed out within a fortnight, leaving a rather unattractive frizzy demi-wave look for the next few years.
Then there was the time when I decided to go for a variation on “the Rachel”, the short layered haircut made popular by Jennifer Aniston in Friends.
All was well and good upon stepping out of the salon.
But the first time I washed it I realised I didn’t have 45 minutes to spare waiting for it to set in velcro rollers and so was lumbered with a scraggly mass of limp layers.
They should change the way you choose a new haircut in hairdressers.
Instead of glossy images in magazines you should be made to choose a hairstyle based on how it’s going to look when a normal person attempts to re-create it at home with just a hairdryer and a normal brush.
But by far the worst haircut I’ve ever had came from going to a student hairdresser.
Looking back, alarm bells should have gone off the minute I walked in and saw her, dressed in an outfit that wouldn’t have looked out of place in an ’80s primetime drama, and garish pink lipstick.
My sense of dread continued as she snipped and snipped, leaving huge chunks of hair to cascade around my feet.
An hour later, after being coiffed and teased, I emerged with what can only be described as a bird’s nest complete with wonky fringe.
Of course, I paid and thanked her, assuring her how happy I was at this monstrosity upon my head, because I’m a wimp like that.
I cried for two days solid and then managed to see the funny side.
Moral of the story: pay more than £15 for a hair cut. And don’t ever, ever let someone who has a mullet themselves cut your hair.
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