IN primary school our teacher told us if we read books it would help to improve our vocabulary.
So it was a desire to learn how to use long words that led me into discovering the joys of The Magic Faraway Tree, The Famous Five, and Alice in Wonderland.
But, according to a new survey, reading does something much more useful nowadays — it makes you more attractive to others.
A study found that half of men and one third of women have lied about what they’ve read in an effort to impress friends or would-be lovers.
Only half?
Many a time have I casually dropped into the conversation a reference to George Orwell or Albert Camus, hoping it would make me seem knowledgeable.
And I’m sure the only reason my boyfriend thinks I'm well-read is because I once — in a wonderful fluke — got the correct answer to a literary question on University Challenge.
(Tip — if the question is asking for a poet it’s always worth saying “John Donne” loudly and confidently).
So it doesn’t surprise me one bit that there are lots of others out there who bend the truth when it comes to their reading matter to make themselves look good.
The poll found that men would be most impressed by women who read news websites, Shakespeare or song lyrics.
Well, I studied Romeo and Juliet for GCSEs and Hamlet for A-levels — so surely that counts?
As for women, nothing gets their hearts fluttering more than a man who has read Nelson Mandela's biography, apparently.
Well it certainly beats those airport tomes by John Grisham and co.
I'm not saying I don't read books. I do. And I'm not talking those rubbish chick-lits you see littering the shelves with their identical pastel-coloured jackets either.
Is it just me, or does anyone else find it intensely annoying how they always feature a loveable-yet-hapless heroine called “Mandisa” or “Parmenia”?
I love a good read, truth be told. It’s just that after a few “intelligent” books my brain gets tired of trying so hard and I long to read something trashy, like Kerry Katona’s autobiography.
My problem is that I can never fully enjoy books which feature characters whose names I can’t pronounce.
Instead, I find myself making-up another name and replace it in my mind.
I only managed to get a few pages into Crime and Punishment before all the Russian names put me right off —all the characters seemed to be called “Raskolnikova”.
I had to go back to the beginning three times, and in the end gave up completely (a move that amused my boyfriend no end).
So I suppose my point is that maybe it’s about time we all gave up our book snobbery and just enjoyed reading for what it is. At least it’s better than watching telly every night.
And I have to confess I fibbed before — I’ve never read Alice in Wonderland. I just said that to make myself sound clever.
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