DON’T you love those “learn more about me” quizzes you occasionally get sent by email?
The idea is that the sender has filled-in funny questions about themselves so you can get to know them better (it doesn’t matter if you're just a work colleague and don’t particularly want to know them better).
And then at the end they invite you to write your own answers and pass on the email to all of your friends.
The reason I love them so much is because they're a great example of typically human behaviour, ie lying to make yourself sound better.
I’m not criticising anyone, because obviousl it goes without saying that it's virtually impossible to fill in one of these things without shamelessly fibbing in an attempt to make yourself appear witty, intellectual and, let's face it, more attractive to the opposite sex.
They usually go something like this:
WHAT ARE YOU READING? War and Peace, by Tolstoy (Real answer: So far I've digested this week's Heat and Closer magazines and I'm working my way through the Betterware catalogue).
WHAT'S YOUR FAVOURITE BOARD GAME? Chess (Real answer: Guess Who).
FAVOURITE SOUND: My child laughing, or my husband telling me he loves me (Real answer: the cork being pulled out of a bottle of wine).
WHAT IS MOST IMPORTANT IN LIFE? Family, friends and world peace (Real answer: at this exact moment, making sure I get that top I'd had my eye on in Debenhams).
WHO WOULD BE YOUR FOUR ULTIMATE DINNER PARTY GUESTS DEAD OR ALIVE? Nelson Mandela, Marilyn Monroe, Barack Obama, and Gandhi (Real answer: Davina McCall, Gok Wan, Cheryl Cole and the gardener from Desperate Housewives).
WHAT'S IN THE BOOT OF YOUR CAR? Walking boots and a waterproof jacket for impromptu hikes (Real answer: a pair of boots that need re-heeling, a tin of soup that rolled out of a shopping bag weeks ago, and an old Shaun the Sheep ice scraper).
IF YOU COULD HAVE ANY JOB YOU WANTED WHAT WOULD IT BE? I've got it. (Real answer: anything but this one, but my boss is friends with Carol from accounts who is also on the mailing list).
WHAT'S YOUR FAVOURITE ARTICLE OF CLOTHING? My Vivienne Westwood jacket (Real answer: most nights you can find me wearing my Primark trackie bottoms and an old hoodie with a nail varnish stain on the front).
FAVOURITE FILM? Schindler's List. So moving. (Real answer: Weekend at Bernies).
FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT THE OPPOSITE SEX? Their smile (Real answer: whether they're fat or not).
THE LAST CD YOU BOUGHT? Fleet Foxes (Real answer: Leona Lewis).
WHAT IS YOUR FAVOURITE FOOD? Sushi. (Real answer: chicken kebab with extra onions and garlic sauce).
Next time you find yourself filling-in one of these things, why not take a deep breath and decide to tell the truth. Do you know what? Everyone who reads it will thank you for it.
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