ANOTHER week and another celebrity has given birth.

And yet another child’s future has been ruined. Yes, Nicole Kidman, I’m talking about you.

The willowy one (who, quite frankly, I expected better of) has followed that most horrible of showbiz traditions and given her first-born a ridiculous name.

Sunday, to be precise. The word many of us associate with fry-ups, hanging around watching the EastEnders omnibus in our pyjamas or, if you’re a dad, washing the car.

Calling your kid a weird name might make you feel like you’re cool, Nicole, but think of poor Sunday — I doubt it’ll be much fun for her when her classmates are sniggering as the teacher reads out the school register.

Professional whiner Chris Martin has jumped to Nicole’s defence, claiming: “There’s nothing weird about calling your baby Chewbacca if that’s what you want to call your baby. It’s no stranger than Sarah . . . a name is just a noise, and if you like it, then (expletive) what everyone else says.”

Good point, Chris. Naming a child Chewbacca is an awesome idea. Not at all cruel on the poor kid who’ll be chased around the playground by bullies making Chewbacca noises. Of course, it’s not really Nicole’s fault. She’s just doing her job. We all know stupid baby names are as mandatory as sunglasses when you’re famous.

Let’s look at the evidence.

There’s Apple and Moses (Chris Martin and Gwyneth Paltrow); Pilot Inspektor (Jason Lee); Fifi Trixibelle (Bob Geldof and Paula Yates); Sage Moonblood (Sylvester Stallone) and Maddox (Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt) to name just a few of the worst. Perhaps the most heinous repeat offenders are Jonathan Ross and wife Jane Goldman, who named their kids Betty Kitten, Honey Kinney and Harvey Kirby.

But this practice can come back to bite the celebrities. Once the son or daughter has a “wacky” name, they often fail to live up to it.

Take Cher and Sonny’s daughter Chastity (what was wrong with Helen or Jane?), for instance.

With a mother who wears lycra catsuits and outrageous wigs on the school run (I’m guessing) and a father whose moustache looked like was about to crawl off his face, where was she left to go?

As kids tend to do, Chastity did the most rebellious thing she could think of and turned into a strait-laced law-abiding citizen.

The direct opposite to her mother, the lesbian writer and activist lives a quiet, happy life and is reportedly at ease with her 23-stone figure.

So the joke is really on the celebs.

Give your child a crazy name and watch them turn into a character much like Saffy from Absolutely Fabulous — an ordinary, attention-shunning wallflower.

Although you can go too far the opposite way with these things. Ulrika Jonsson* you know who you are! * Ulrika Jonsson recently named her fourth-born Malcolm.