JAMES Bond is mysogynistic, sexist and lonely, according to actor Daniel Craig in the run-up to the new Bond movie, Spectre, which opens next month.

Well, like Christian Grey of 50 Shades fame, I doubt Bond would have been quite so popular if he’d changed nappies, did the school run and ran a book club. This genre of the film industry is about fantasy, after all.

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Women just love a good ‘bad boy’. In real life many have spent years dedicated to them and their lives resemble a disaster movie with a lot of pain and zero glamour.

Any woman who has ever dated online learns to recognise the signs. Bad boys tend to be physically attractive – a pre-requisite for reeling ‘em in – have a good line in patter, to keep ‘em interested, and are amusing, which helps get ‘em into bed. They also tend to have two phones – “one for business”.

A friend got wooed online by a sexy Italian in Naples who decided to come over for the weekend.

She spent a fortune on hair, nails and a hot outfit.

He treated her to a lavish dinner and laughed her into bed and after a passionate weekend she dropped him back at the airport. When she got home she discovered he’d left his jacket and, being a nosy bird, had a rummage in the pockets.

And that’s when she found the business card with his name on it as the manager of an Italian restaurant not an hour’s drive away.

In our dreams, we’d all like to be whisked off in a private helicopter by a Bond or a Grey, but imagine the effort you’d have to put in for the bad boy who owns one.

You’d always have to look your utmost best — no flat shoes and comfy knickers — to keep his attention on you and not the queue of younger lovelies gathering behind you.

Which brings me on to another aspect of the new Bond movie and that’s the fact that 007 has an affair with a “mature” woman. Hell no, how could it be? Surely not a 30-year-old?

No, even older than that. For actress Monica Bellucci, the “mature” woman, is 50 which means, give or take a couple of years, even I could have an affair with James Bond.

Obviously, I’d have to scrub up a bit, but if age is no longer a barrier, I’m in.

Of course, James Bond is mysogynistic, sexist and lonely.

Women wouldn’t want him any other way.

They just wouldn’t want him as a life partner.