It feels like I've been to quite a few funerals recently:- former Mayors, former Council colleagues, golfing pals, work colleagues.

The news initially comes as a shock, then the news becomes absorbed, processed & internalised. Fond shared memories, little stories, things that used to annoy?

As, I think, an agnostic, I haven't worked out what happens after death.

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I do get a communal "gathering" to mark the person's life & can understand choosing it to be a religious event in a place of worship.

A recent funeral was in a lovely "non-comformist" (not actually sure what that means) church that I'd never been to before. The place was pretty near full, the hymns very familiar from childhood & the reminiscing by a friend told us many things about the deceased.

Another was at the Council Crematorium. A wicker coffin, some favourite family modern songs, some great insights by the bereaved partner about my former colleague.

I'd always got on well with my colleague, who I very much respected, had always had a little chuckle with them when we were together.

But, the standing room only, attendees learned things about our departed Mum, friend, neighbour, colleague, about their private life, favourite music, favourites places to visit.

Things, I guess, many of us didn't know till then. I nearly wrote "when it was too late", but I'm not sure.

Some funerals stipulate no flowers, family flowers only, some are held in churches & other places of worship, some are "humanist", some ask for donations to some favoured cause, many different styles or pieces of music get played, some invites to attend ask for bright clothes, football club shirts to be worn. No one event seems the same.

Funerals don't seem to last very long, seem over quite quickly.

What do we think about whilst we're there? I love listening to the stories, like pondering the choice of music, get angry if any speaker delivers without any sincerity, any real "feel" for our departed.

Sometimes people laugh out loud, clap, sing along. That seems OK to me.

Then that, for me, difficult moment. The moment when the curtain closes or the coffin leaves. It always seems so final.

Then there's the gathering, hand shakes, hugs, shared memories, some pleasantries, outside. That's sometimes quite difficult.

If there's a sandwich & a drink after, I don't always attend, depending on how I feel.

How do you feel about these "final" proceedings? Some people have already planned their own? Have we got how we mark, mourn or celebrate a life right?