THERE are a few words and terms only some of us understand.

As you get older you realise that some terms we use will soon never ever be uttered in years to come.

Whilst having a kickabout with my eight-year-old this week I was ‘cropped’ by him.

He stopped and wanted to know what the hell he was supposed to have done.

‘What do you mean I cropped you?’ I spent the next ten minutes explaining what cropped meant and what happens when you crop someone.

‘What a stupid word for a foul,’ he replied.

I didn’t think it was so stupid. Maybe the word crop doesn’t get the credit it deserves.

It is probably the most overused word in my vocabulary. There are only two certainties in life – you know when you see a crop and you know when you get cropped.

We continued our game of football and he decided to stand near the nets and wait for the ball to come near him so he could tap it in.

‘Stop being a top-liner’.

This started whole new episode where I had to explain what a top-liner was. Or as some refer to it as a tart-liner.

I don’t even know if anyone else uses this term as I later tried to Google it and couldn’t find any references. Anyone with any suggestions as to whether this term actually exists or I dreamt it up is welcome to call me on 01254 298263.

Anyhow, with no offsides it is easy to become a top-liner as you do absolutely nothing but stand next to the goals and wait for the ball to fall near you.

Whilst the rest of the team is actually playing football, this player decides he would rather take all the glory and wait for his opportunity to tap the ball into the net.

A true top-liner will then take the credit for all the build-up play and at the end of the game boast about how he scored 17 goals to everyone else’s ‘two’.

I hated those guys but I have to admit that once or twice I too became a top-liner.

The explanation went down pretty well until I decided to do the Cruyff turn – as copyrighted by the Dutch master Johann.

The game was again halted as we got the famous video from the 1978 World Cup on and watched the Cruyff turn several times.