SAY what you want, I was asked. So I said “tax code for child”. The machine then asked: “Do you mean child tax credits?”

I said no, then it asked: “Do you mean child benefit?” I again said no. Then the machine changed tack and asked: “Did you mean capital gains tax?”

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And so it went on. I had rung the Government department to ask how my daughter could register for zero tax on her part-time income.

But I soon became embroiled in a frustrating conversation with a voice recognition machine.

While I was going round in circles, the machine occasionally reminded me: “Just so you know, there is also lots of information available on our website.”

I was on the phone for 20 minutes and could not get through to a real person, who would done what the machine could not do: (a) understand exactly what I was asking and (b) make an effort to answer my query.

Whether ringing an organisation with tax queries or a rail company for train times, it is becoming increasingly difficult to get hold of a human being.

I failed completely to get through to someone about child tax and struggled in the same way when ringing a computer firm to replace my other daughter’s damaged charger. After ten fruitless minutes, the machine had the cheek to ask me to answer a customer satisfaction survey. I agreed and was about to vent my spleen when the line went dead.

I would love to know how much time we waste trying to make phone calls to Kafkaesque customer services departments. This is such an important area in any company, but sadly many of these departments are designed to make verbal contact with the actual company impossible.

Some advancements in technology are, in my opinion, backward steps, making things harder not easier. Voice recognition systems are by far the worst way of speaking to customers. My building society uses this. “Tell me what you want?” it asks. “Say ‘mortgages’, or ‘current accounts’,” it goes on. You only need to mumble, have a cold or be a little off-key for it to tell you: “I did not understand your choice,” and have it shove you back to the main menu.

Apparently these systems should recognise about 95 per cent of what is said if you speak clearly. I dispute this: I spoke clearly the other day when I told the machine exactly what I thought of it, but it didn’t recognise one word.