SO, TO whom shall I send a Valentine’s card this year?

My husband would be the obvious choice and it would set the cat among the pigeons as he certainly would not think in a million years that it was me who had sent it.

I could tease him about it and perhaps even bribe him to buy me even more flowers and chocolates than he usually does on the day February 14.

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When I was a teenager, the number of Valentine’s cards my friends and I received were of the utmost importance.

One year, I once even sent one to myself, to ensure that I had at least one to take in to school (these were the days when the post arrived before we were had even got up).

The popular, flirty girls with the long, glossy hair that they constantly tossed over their shoulders, made sure that everyone knew how many they had got .

They would sit in the common room and read them out, giggling.

Adults can be just as bad, gushing over teddies clutching padded hearts and cards. They post messages in newspapers addressed to Bagpuss, or Bunnykins, expressing their undying love in a short sentence. Age is no deterrent, with plenty of messages between people married for decades: “Grumpy Old Git, 40 years wed and I still love you ,” said one of last year’s offerings.

Having the privilege of an entire newspaper column of 450 words, I suppose I should be bashing out some sort of dedication to my husband of 20 years. But at the moment we can’t be in the same room without arguing – so any words that did spring from my fingers would not be too complimentary.

Although I am difficult to live with, I acknowledge that.

In our entire married life, we have never exchanged Valentine’s cards or gifts. Despite the in-your-face nature of the day, we have never been able to live up to the romantic ideal.

Relationships are tricky enough without having to stage a some sort of lovey-dovey performance once a year.

Valentine’s Day has become a huge commercial circus. with shops filled to the gunnels with chocolates, fluffy toys, and all manner of schmaltzy gifts.

We are force-fed this sentimental tat, which starts appearing in shops not long after Christmas.

The one thing in its favour this year, however, is the day itself. It’s a Saturday. If you’re going to celebrate it in a low-key way with a romantic meal at least you can properly relax and enjoy it.

I have tried my husband’s patience lately, so I could always break with tradition, rustle up a nice meal, buy a bottle of wine and wish him Happy Valentine’s Day.

I may just shock him and do that.