I THINK I’m getting prudish. I’m not even quite sure how it happened.
I mean, I was the ginger skinhead punk who turned up as Ian Dury’s Plaistow Patricia (which started with a stream of expletives) at a family gathering. My gran almost choked on her Liebfraumilch.
I have also been known to have a potty mouth – usually in drink, but sometimes without it as I don’t partake much these days. There’s nothing quite like throwing in the ‘F word’ when you want to add strength and passion to your argument.
I blame journalism and working next to the sportsdesk.
Or possibly my strict Catholic upbringing.
My mum describes it as an appalling lack of vocabulary and I tell her to F... off! which makes me laugh like a drain while she looks on disapprovingly.
But despite having an open mind on most subjects, two incidents have made my top lip curl recently.
The first was Andy Murray’s fiancée Kim Sears shouting (according to the lip readers on hand) a string of obscenities as old Smiler romped to victory against Tomas Berdych in the Australian Open semi-final.
Murray’s mouthy piece was unrepentant after her tirade and wore a ‘Parental Control’ T-shirt to prove it. She may have got a few virtual slaps on the back for her audacious come-back, but the normal people out here would have thought more of her if she’d simply said “Sorry guys, I got carried away”. Top marks on the Crass-ometer, Kimmy.
The second incident was Katie Price telling Celebrity Big Brother housemates of what she said to a woman she found in bed with her boyfriend.
Suffice to say it was pretty graphic. So much so that I went, “ewwwwwwwww”, very loudly and the dog jumped up in fear.
Like many others, I tuned in to CBB because I wanted to see Katie Price kick that nasty Katie Hopkins up her fat-turned-bony backside.
But there was none of that, just lurid, skin-crawly tales of grubby infidelities.
So c’mon girls get a grip! I’m not saying you have to behave like HRH in public, but at least demonstrate a modicum of restraint.
We can all swear and talk dirty, but most of us have enough self respect not to share it with the world.
And if you think that makes me sound like my mother – then you can just go forth and multiply.
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