Am I alone in thinking that the polite, five-letter word beginning with "S" is going out of use?

The one that so quickly diffuses so many situations and treats its recipients with respect? The "S" word - SORRY.

During what for me were the dreary 18 years of opposition government (1979 - 97) one of my minor hobbies was to track the fortunes of those ministers who were able to utter the "S" word with conviction, and those who would do anything, say anything, to avoid it passing their lips.

I've never forgotten one afternoon in the Commons. In succession there were two ministers, covering different departments of state, who represented the opposite ends of the "sorry" spectrum.

The first minister had a terrible time as he squirmed and wriggled, telling the House that there was a difference between being "accountable" for what his civil servants may or may not have done, and being "responsible" for their actions.

He was, he told an incredulous House, "accountable but not responsible".

"Look behind you" is not only a pantomime call. If you have it shouted at you when you're speaking from the despatch box in the Commons you know you've no answer.

So it was with this guy as we on the opposite benches drew to a wider audience the fact that his own side - behind him - were singularly unimpressed by his efforts to dance on a head of a pin.

The same day, a different minister went to the Commons to present an official report of how a key building in his department's estate had caught fire.

It was a poorly maintained electrical switch-room which was the cause of the fire.

Whatever Ministers are expected to do, personally inspecting switch-rooms isn't one.

But nonetheless this minister said he was responsible for everything which happened in his department.

He was sorry about this maintenance failure on his watch and this was what he was doing to ensure it did not happen again.

The contrast was stark. This minister was received with respect by all sides because he was showing respect.

Later that day by pure fluke, I found myself sitting next to this apologising minster at an official dinner.

"That was really good," I said to him. "I learnt a lot from you this afternoon".

"Yes, dear boy," he replied. "Whenever you're in trouble, whenever something has gone wrong in your department, go to the Commons and put your paws up. It's the only way."

It was very sensible advice, which I've sought to follow.

Of course, you have to mean you are sorry, but there are plenty of situations where you can be sorry about something even though it's obvious you could not have personally been responsible.

Maybe it's me, but what I notice, in all walks of life is that some people seem to think that if they utter the "s" word it will mark them down as a failure and the heavens will descend.

Strange, because the reverse will be the case.

Have a good Christmas.