MY eldest daughter has left home. She may never live with us again. She has been in our care for 18 years and we have strived to keep her safe and well.

When she has gone out clubbing I have stayed awake until the early hours, I have even texted her at 4am, to make sure she got home in one piece.

Now she is 250 miles away at university and there's no-one there to watch over her.

She could go out all night, get blind drunk and fall asleep on a park bench and I wouldn't be any the wiser.

It's terrifying, but I wouldn't want it any other way.

I want her to go off and forge a new life away from us. I want her to stand on her own two feet and have lots of fun, away from the restrictions of home.

I trod that same path more than 30 years ago and can say without hesitation that those years were the best, and by far the happiest, of my life.

It is a major life change – for us as well as for my daughter. It will be strange in our home without her, without the constant barrage of demands: “Mum, can you..?” “Dad, I need...”, “Mum, when can I..?

She hasn't been the easiest person to live with. There have been many occasions when we have locked horns and I have screamed at her, telling her how rude and arrogant she is, how she's only nice when she wants something, how she disrupts the entire house and how I can't wait for her to leave.

But in the heat of the moment, we all say things we don't mean. And, if she ever reads this, I didn't mean it.

It will be strange for her younger sister too, being the only one.

She reckons she will love it, but I think that, deep down, she will forget all the squabbles over use of the shower, 'borrowed' clothing and other girlie things, and actually miss her.

I am already steeped in sadness over my daughter's absence from our regular, winter days out in Scarborough.

Since the girls were babies, it has always been the four of us, eating fish and chips, trying to win a fortune at the amusements and braving biting cold winds on walks around the headland.

It won't be the same without her.

I'm worried that she will change and become more distant.

But I also want her to change - to become more worldly and more confident.

Still, it is not as though she has moved to another country.

She will be back in eight weeks time - with any luck she might appreciate us a bit more.

Or she might not.