I GOT talking to an irate dog walker in the park last week. He was ranting about a woman who allows her dog to poo outside his front gate without ever picking it up.

Why the dog chooses that exact spot with such regularity is a mystery, but I guess it’s the same reason mine knows that when I put on a certain pair of boots it’s time for walkies and that 6am is breakfast time so clunks me on the head with her paw.

Well, this man, having stepped in the slop more than once, turned dog poo vigilante.

He embarked on SAS-style manoeuvres, lurking behind his lounge curtains, hanging around pretending to dead-head his roses and walking nonchalantly up and down the road like he wasn’t the furious man from number 52 who was hell-bent on catching a fouling felon.

The day finally arrived and the dog did its usual marker.

He waited until they’d moved on, picked up the mess, and then followed them.

He waited until she got in, put the kettle on and then deposited the foul deposit through her letterbox.

“So why didn’t you just tell her you’d report her to the council. It’s a £1,000 fine?” I asked, stating the obvious.

He looked disappointed that I hadn’t applauded him on his cowardly actions.

Don’t get me wrong, I live opposite a park and I get furious when people allow their dogs to foul and don’t bother to pick it up because they think no-one has seen them. I do it religiously because it’s my duty as a dog owner.

But the answer lies not in nasty little acts of retribution but in making people aware of the penalties they face if they flout laws, which is why a Zero Tolerance dog fouling day has been declared across the Ribble Valley on Friday.

Dog enforcement officers will be out and about nabbing irresponsible owners as part of the council’s Pick Up Or Pay Up campaign. Culprits will be hit with a £50 fixed penalty notice as a way of forewarning them about strict new orders, coming into force on August 1, requiring them to clean up after their dogs and keep them under control in public.

That’s got to be a whole lot more effective than posting faeces through a letterbox – that could, incidentally, be picked up by a child.