TOMMY DOLAN was probably the keenest fan Darwen Cricket Club has ever had.

He didn’t miss many matches and he never missed an opportunity to offer critical comment.

One rather ponderous opener was told he should try using a back door instead of a bat.

To another slow mover he suggested a bat on each leg and a pad in his hands to liven things up a bit.

He once looked into the scorebox as another opener snailed along and said that all the dot balls in the scorebook looked like the script from 1,001 Dalmatians.

He’d seen better bats in a cave, he told one unfortunate.

Old Tommy had a scruffy dog which he often took to Birch Hall.

The pooch was alert and attentive when Darwen were bowling, but when Darwen went in to bat the mangy mutt often fell asleep and began snoring.

The opening overs were often memorable only for their plodding grimness and I recall phoning through a story from one particularly boring match in which I managed to squeeze the illiterate line “even Dolan’s dog were fed up” past the usually vigilant sub-editors and into the Last Sports.

The use of the third person plural “were”, such a typical Darwenism, fitted the mood perfectly.

My infamous “Big Sleep” story had nothing on that line.

My favourite Dolan one-liner? Some of the committee were wondering whom to get as a stand-in professional for the weekend’s cup match.

It was a big decision as Darwen were in the doldrums.

“How about Ian Austin of Lancashire,” someone suggested.

“You’d be better off with Steve Austin,” muttered Tommy.

I was reminded of his suggestion of hiring the Six Million Dollar Man when Atif Ashraf, Darwen’s professional for the past three seasons, told me a few weeks ago that he was looking for a new club.

It's not been a good season for Darwen.

Keith Semple, an excellent all-rounder and former pro, returned to the West Indies and two other top bowlers left; Andrew Mercer skipped off to pastures new and Jeff Hacking hobbled off to a well-earned retirement.

Atif told me: “It’s been hard this season, especially after two great years.

"Darwen really need a bowling professional and I thought it was time to move on although I hope to get another club in the North West.”

Atif has been among the top few batsmen in the Northern League for the past few seasons and his unbeaten run of 144, 140 and that league-record 208 in his last three league games 12 months ago will never be equalled.

I saw them all. He’s a useful bowler as well.

Andrew Cook was telling me he’s enjoyed his first season as captain, but next season could be even harder.

Once-promising batsman Chris Clarke must dream of hard pitches and could move on while it wouldn’t be much of a surprise if John Cordingley joined brother Neil at Whalley.

I haven’t been near all season as Darwen struggled along.

But I might be tempted if they manage to sign Steve Austin...