CLARETS star Clarke Carlisle is the butt of his teammates’ jokes after an embarrassing illness led to a hospital visit.

Writing in his blog, the big centre- half said he had to make a trip to A&E in the early hours of Sunday after suffering agonising stomach pains.

But a quick examination revealed the root of his pains was not as serious as he had feared.

He said: “I found myself in A&E at one o’clock Sunday morning after a whole day of stomach pains that I can only describe as debilitating.

“Once I’d convinced myself that my appendix was about to burst any minute, I thought I’d better get to the hospital while I still could. After a thorough thoracic check-up, the doctor finally concluded that I had constipation! I couldn’t leave the hospital quick enough!

“My colleagues have had a wonderful time suggesting ways to cure my woes, but I think I’ll stick to prune juice.”