COMMENT from my mum: I'm definitely the oldest person in here,' as she hurled yet another bowling ball towards the skittles at the end of our lane.

To mark her 70th birthday we had decided to treat her to a game of ten pin bowling.

She had only ever seen the game in films and had often commented on how she would like to try it, so we booked a lane as a surprise.

Racked with nerves about the noise, I became even more anxious when my brother (nicknamed Voice of Doom' by my sister) condemned it as a totally unsuitable treat "because of mum's arthritis".

All my fears were, however, dispelled, on the day as she loved it, and wants to go again.

A first at 70 my mum bowling and raring to go for another session.

Not only that, but she managed to get the highest score on a mini-netball game, attracting an audience in the process.

As they say, you're never too young. Nowadays, 70 is not seen in the same frail pensioner' light as it was. and as I'm now the wrong side of 45, and all those things to do before you're 40' that I, among millions of others, made a mental list of, just didn't happen.

So, with another 30 or so good' years ahead I'm now, as they say, shifting the goalposts, and working within things to do before you're 50' guidelines.

Not much has changed, but a few ambitions, such as play the lead opposite Richard Geer in a Pretty Woman sequel' have reluctantly been knocked on the head. Those remaining are, I am sure, achievable: l Write a novel I formulated this desire more than 20 years ago and have moved from teen-lit, to chick-lit, to mid-life-lit.

As I haven't succeeded in getting beyond the first paragraph in any of them, I'm inclined to think it will never happen.

But I've just read that novels for the 40-something woman are taking off BIG TIME. So I'm giving it a go.

If only the characters based on my real-life friends, of course weren't all so haggard, depressed and disillusioned.

l Complete the coast-to-coast walk Having grown up with it rammed down my throat my mum did B&B on the famous route I would love to try, but have a tendency to tire after three or four miles.

This being 192 miles, I am hoping that, if sea levels continue to rise and erosion continues apace along the east coast of Britain, in five years time I'll be looking at fewer than 100. Which I could possibly manage over a six-month period.

l Lose weight In my early forties, the shall-we-shan't we' scenario was still going on.

With two children, a third was for a while on the cards but the time was never right. If we had been younger, maybe, but the efforts involved in raising two offspring, I now know, test couples both physically and mentally.

The idea of another pregnancy gave me the green light to eat heartily and show not an ounce of concern for my waistline.

Now our family is complete, I feel compelled to return to the svelte female I was aged 18. Is that possible?

If the stuff they broadcast in all those image programmes on the telly is anything to go by, then yes it is. But they don't go far enough. Forget Ten Years Younger I'm going for 30 years younger.

With the BIG 50' on the horizon, I really am going for it. But suspect these big ambitions will still be there as I approach retirement.