SO IT looks like ID cards are going to get the nod then. As Tony Blair put it: "With the real problems people have today with identity fraud, which is a major, major issue; illegal immigration; organised crime: it's just the sensible thing to do."

Hear hear, Tony. It sounds like a great idea. So tell us Tone, what's the deal? We all get ID cards and there are no more problems, eh?

Er, not quite, it appears.

Because the issues these ID cards are being brought in to tackle identity fraud, illegal immigration, benefit fraud, organised crime, terrorism won't actually be solved by ID cards.

Even the Government is admitting this. Various ministers have stood up in recent weeks and months to insist: "We never said ID cards were the answer to(insert problem here) but...There's always a "but" isn't there?

Anyway, if you speak to a couple of experts, it turns out that ID cards won't solve that much, despite what Tony and the gang are saying.

Take identity fraud, for example.

That's now mostly committed by people using your credit card over the phone or online and ID cards won't stop that.

As for illegal immigrants, they tend to be foreign nationals who don't have British ID cards.

Then when they do get here, they tend to stay in the fringes of the law, scraping a living from dubious employers who don't care if their new, cheap workers have ID cards or not.

The man who put together the anti-terrorism task force following the July attacks, Lord Carlile, doesn't think ID cards will have any effect on terrorists either. Let's face it, he should know.

I agree too. When I end up with my ID card there will be nothing on it to alert the authorities of my intention to rid the world of clowns (damn their long feet!).

That leaves organised crime. The Government says ID cards will make it "harder" to operate.

Phew, what a blessed relief. That's one in the eye for gun runners and extortionists.

So, we've covered the benefits of ID cards then. What are the drawbacks?

Well, they're going to cost nearly £600m to set up. Then we're all going to have to pay for them up to £93 each apparently.

Then they will lead to a raft of new legislation that could turn ordinary people into criminals if cards become compulsory and you can't afford to pay for yours, you'll get a £2,500 fine for not registering; failure to update your information will result in a £1,000 fine; possessing someone else's documents could lead to two years in prison so don't hold your wife's bag when she goes into the shop fitting rooms if you don't fancy doing some porridge.

Then there's the massive computer system storing all our ID card details.

I take it they don't use magic uncrashable computers in government because their track record on major computer databases ain't exactly brilliant.

Remember the air traffic control fiasco a couple of years back?

And only last week the Telegraph reported how pensions were being paid to dead people in Lancashire thanks to a mix of computer glitches and human error.

So that's ID cards.

And I haven't even touched on the threat to civil liberties argument.

Perhaps the Government would be better off ditching the cards and issuing us all with a can of worms instead?