No Students. Those words are music soft, melodic and at a reasonable volume to my ears.

In what is being hailed as a landmark decision that will have implications across Britain, a new housing estate has been built which bans students.

Developers have been told they can only have planning permission if they promise not to sell to students or to landlords who will then rent to students.

The move could pave the way for other estates across the country to become no-go zones for students, with cities like Leeds, Newcastle and Edinburgh closely watching.

Until we moved house, I would have given anything not to live next door to students I'd have lived on a raft in the middle of the Indian Ocean if it meant getting a decent night's sleep.

I'm not sure I'm in total agreement with selective housing zones, but at the height of my student-induced misery I would have been there like a shot.

I have reservations because, before we know it, estates will be popping up all over the place, with restrictions on all sorts of people parents with young children, single mums, teenagers, gay couples, retired people.

But, if we are to go down that road, I've got a few ideas for exclusive housing developments: 4x4 owners With gigantic his and hers models, plus maybe a spare run-about, garages are more important than houses.

All these home would have quadruple garages, huge turning spaces and very little else. Being lumped together would mean they can all pollute each other.

Ramblers This would be really successful, with everyone having the right to roam across everyone else's garden.

This could be extended to homes themselves, providing people remove their muddy boots first.

Swingers By living cheek-by-jowl they would not have to resort to cold car parks or lay-bys for a bit of how's yer father.

The advantage is that curtain twitching would be a thing of the past. The down side is pampas grass it is now well-known as a sign of swingers-in-residence, and forests of it would be a bit of a giveaway.

Curtain twitchers If people are going to be nosy, why not stick them with like-minded busybodies so they can peek at each other's comings and going in unison.

It would be the estate with the best neighbourhood watch in the country.

Car tinkerers Having a vehicle shell and a load of car parts in the drive can affect the sale of neighbouring homes.

People who constantly take apart cars and motorcycles could chat to each other, swap parts and not worry about offending anyone with huge oily patches on the drive.

Eco-warriors With homes built from straw and covered in solar panels, they could line the road with compost bins and pool their waste to create power. It makes sense.

In these days of obsessional property developing, there must be someone who thinks these are winning ideas. I do.

I wouldn't live in any of them myself, but were someone to throw up a cluster of homes for red-haired, female cat lovers, I'll be the first one there.