I RECEIVED a letter this week from another American expat currently residing in Accrington.

He first went out of his way to remind me that I'm not "the only Yank livin' in these here parts" -- a fact I can assure him I'm painfully aware of.

Americans are very talented when it comes to making themselves known. Speaking at an altogether different frequency to the rest of the human race, they can generally be heard from quite a long way off.

And just in case they aren't within earshot, they have this wonderful knack for sending patronising letters.

The gentleman then went on to offer me "a quiet word." He advised me to follow his example and make sure that whatever reservations I have about roundabouts or other characteristics of British life are "addressed softly" as the British "love a sly old moan . . . but they aren't so keen on someone else doing it for them."

He also remarked that for a person to criticise his or her own nationality (as I so often do) is only slightly less annoying than having a go at someone else's.

Well, as much as I appreciate the suggestion, I'm afraid I have to disagree. The honesty and humility required to poke fun at oneself make it one of the most admirable qualities a person can lay claim to.

The art of self-critique also happens to be a pastime that both Brits and Americans alike happily indulge in on a national scale.

Take for example the popularity of a television series like Bremner, Bird and Fortune or the acclaimed US satirical news programme The Daily Show.

As for the insinuation that, having been born and raised in another country, it will never be acceptable for me to comment or pass judgement on any feature of this one -- I would ask that my fellow American take his quiet word and quietly stick it.

I have every right to say what I think. I've made a home in this country, legally and permanently.

Even if that weren't the case, I doubt very much that the greater British public would take any offence at my observations.

Personally, I'd be more offended by a man who's lived in England for almost 35 years, yet doesn't consider himself English or regard even the most basic aspects of life in this country as any of his business.