Racist? Me? Never? Is it possible to be prejudiced towards your own kind?

Sarvat Jabeen Khan looks at why we might well hate ourselves more than anyone else.

It's May again and the daffodils rear their predictable sunny, yellow heads. Everyone seems to be taking advantage of the freakish sunshine

We put out load after load on the washing line, which makes a change from cramming it all onto the radiators.

But in some households this time of colour, new beginning and cheer is ruined by the news they have just received in the post.

What you splutter through a mouth full of chai, 'My baby Einstein has been put into that school!' Shock, turns to horror, which is quickly replaced with anger.

I have brought my child up to appreciate the finer things in life you think, buffalo mozzarella and the wonders of the Ancient world.

How will she ever understand and deal with our failings as parents? You may think this is a melodramatic reaction but the school in question is PREDOMINANTLY ASIAN!!!

It seems we are thoroughly dissatisfied, indeed annoyed with the potential of our child going to school with the likes of a boy named Islamabad who plays the recorder!

Times are a changing you see; your once exclusive coffee haunt now has other ASIAN customers. Lordy lord is nothing sacred anymore? And what about shopping, since when did Asians discover the Tesco Finest range in the store? Morrisons, Kwik Save or Asda yes but Tesco!!

You have come to expect the tanned individuals hanging around after 9.00p.m, as that is when the milk and bread is reduced in price but on the pasta aisle in the middle of the afternoon - PLEASE!

You are smirking but all the previous scenarios have tickled a bone of recognition. If not in yourself, then someone you know. All the earlier statements came across as a tad, for want of a better word, RACIST!!!

'Me?' you squirm No, lve a live and let live philosophy.

You attempt to defend yourself by reeling off the names of your mates who have the skin tone of a whiter shade of pale. You firmly believe we have plenty to learn from each other. You need to think again as the problem lies nearer to home.

As realisation sets in you begin to wander. Could it be that I maybe, just maybe could be suffering from R.A.O.K! For those who are not familiar with it is Racism Against My Own Kind.

When we receive a quote from the local Asian plumber we quickly grab the yellow pages looking for someone reputable.

We will pay through the nose for this but when Younas asks for £10 we send him away with £5 and an earful for trying to cheat his fellow brother!

It even happens at the local grocery shop.

You rudely demand he empties the bags and total up again. It results in the same outcome but you are not defeated yet as you demand to see the owner who knows your dad! After much bickering you get a couple of pound knocked off!

So do tell, when was the last time you asked to speak to the manager of Tesco with regards to your bill?

The local shop is providing you with a convenience.

When you crave cheese on toast at 11.55p.m New Years Eve and are all out of bread where will you go to satisfy your need?

Fair enough it is not a loaf of Warburton's, (although the price tag is deceiving) but it is bread so why are you squabbling over pennies?

Because the shopkeeper is Asian you feel you have the right to demand a D word!! (That's discount for any one who was wondering).

This hard-working individual has opened up shop at 5.00 am and will still be here long after your head has hit the pillow!

Why not cut him some slack, of course he is making a profit from selling you the bread but he is not running a charity. Why the hell else would you go into business other than making an honest rupee or three!

You want to move into a different area, why? Has the crime level gone up? Have you had a run-in with your neighbour as he refuses to trim down his conifers?

No you shrug, none of the above. It is just that there are so many Asians in the area! And that is such a bad thing?

Crime isnt that bad. If you ever vandalised anything the speed at which the communication channels work in Asian culture, your uncle Abdul in the village in Pakistan has caught wind of the offence before the ink has dried on the shutter!

As far as the monster trees in the garden, no chance as the first thing Asians do when they move into a house is rip out all the foliage and replace it with good old flagstones! (So much cleaner right!)

So since when did you become whiter than white? Are you behaving in this manner as you are trying to distance yourself from the truth? Denial is comforting but the truth is, you too are ASIAN!

So parent of four-year-olds, when the dreaded mail falls onto the door mat this spring. Before going into a blind panic take a good look at the stat results -, the only thing that shows the success of the school, instead of inspecting the ethnic origin of pupils already attending!!