DEAR MASSI, I am an 18- year-old girl and I'm attending college at the moment doing my A-Levels.
I really enjoy what I'm doing at college. I feel I'm getting somewhere with my life. I want to go on and do further education and become a lawyer.
It's always been my dream but my problem is that I don't get on very well with my dad. He's always going on at me saying he knows what goes on at college and that he's heard some very bad stories about how people change when they go to University.
He insists I leave college now and go and get married abroad.
I don't want to get married yet, I want to go to University and get settled and then find the right man. I do want to get married but not yet and I have nothing against arranged marriages. But my dad won't understand. He says that both my older sisters got married at the age of 18 so I should too. I feel if I get married my education will suffer. I have thought carefully about everything.
GH
BOLTON
MASSI SAYS,
I am pleased to hear that you have an independent way of thinking and that you have your future well planned. But you have to understand that your father means well and is only thinking of you.
Try reasoning with him, explaining your targets in life and what you would like to achieve and better yourself. Tell him that you do want to get married but in your own time. Explain how getting married now may affect your education and studies.
Becoming a lawyer could take a long time so maybe your father thinks you may not be able to marry as you will be older than the traditional 'marriageable' age - maybe you take that into consideration.
By reasoning with your father you could come to a compromise about your future. If you are unable to approach your father for any reason then maybe you should think about talking to your mum or an older member of the family i.e uncle.
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