DEAR MASSI, I have just found out that the man I have been seeing for the past year is married.

He didn't tell me.I simply bumped into him and his family at the local cinema. It was really embarrassing but I avoided making a scene in front of his wife and children. However, when we did next meet up, we had a really nasty row and said a lot of hurtful things about each other.

I also said I was going to tell his wife and, at this point, he became very aggressive, grabbed me by the hair and threatened to really hurt me if I did. I hadn't seen this side of him before and it shocked me.

However, I do still love him and, although he's said that he's not going to leave his wife, I still want him to be with me.

MT

MASSI SAYS,

This man has already distanced himself from you and, if you are honest with yourself, you already know that this is the only sensible outcome.

Hes not going to leave his wife and, even if he were, would you really want a relationship with a man who is capable of lying, sleeping around and being violent? Im sure you dont.

The question is academic anyway because, having threatened to involve his wife, I suspect that he will simply not risk seeing you again. Much as you don't want to hear this, I think it really is over. So please try to move on. It will hurt but at least youll be free to look for someone who can respect you and who is genuinely free to return your love.