EMOTIONAL Annette Anthony has spoken about the 12 years of soul-searching and confusion which finally ended with the conviction of her son's killer.
The mother of Julian Brookfield spent ten years hunting and hoping for a glimpse of the fun-loving 19-year-old she last saw on around August 6 1984. She even believed she had evidence he was still alive as late as 1991.
But her search came to an end on July 19, 1994, when workmen redeveloping Blackburn Rovers' Ewood Park ground dug up his body in the former back yard of 84 Nuttall Street.
Brian Blakemore, 51, of Rose Place, Accrington, was found guilty of manslaughter and burying his body by a jury on Thursday and has been sentenced to 12 years in jail.
Annette, of Blackburn Road, Darwen, has finally been able to draw veil over the case she described as "the climax of my life."
But not before she attended every day of Brian Blakemore's trial in a final act of devotion to her son.
"I went every day to court because it is the last thing I could do for Julian. I needed to see that man and know that he had seen me."
"I rang Brian Blakemore a few weeks after Julian disappeared and he told me he didn't know where he was.
"I didn't get the chance to kiss my son goodbye and I will never forgive that man for that."
Annette said: "It was difficult sometimes to deal with Julian's disappearance. He was on my mind all the time.
"I used to look at boys in the street and imagine they were him. I used to follow people and they used to turn into him as I looked at them, their features changing because I wanted them to be him. "I convinced myself that he was alive and doing well and that one day he would turn up, especially for his 21st birthday.
"Every now and then I used to panic and think that he was dead.
"But I convinced myself that if he was dead I would be contacted, if only to pay for the funeral.
"In our last conversation we made everything up together and that is why I thought he had gone away contented."
Annette contacted Brecon police because she thought her son might have gone away with hippies who were in the Darwen area at the time he disappeared.
She used to scan pictures taken by a friend of the crowds at Castle Donington rock concerts Julian loved so much, to see if she could spot him.
She finally thought she had the evidence she wanted after contacting the office of Population and Census Services at Southport, which told her Julian had registered with a new doctor in 1991.
But she later made the agonising discovery that the new registration was only created because Julian's medical records were handed to a new doctor, following his GP's retirement. But she believed he was alive right up until his body was discovered.
"I took a life policy out on Julian when he was 19 and I have paid it all these years. "
Annette keeps a piece of hair from the first time Julian got his hair cut and carries it with her constantly.
"It is as if I've always got a bit of him with me.
"He had a wonderful sense of humour, was very friendly, loved animals and was very good with children. He was also a very good actor.
"He lost his dad when he was 11 and spent some time in a children's home for assessment but there were an awful lot of good times and they are what I want to remember."
Annette and her new husband, Archie Anthony, were on holiday in Newquay when Julian's body was discovered.
Annette said: "We saw the story of the body being found on TV when we were getting ready to go out.
"I said: 'That's a domestic that they have got away with' and never thought much more of it.
"There was a murder in the town nearby so that dominated the local papers and TV.
"We came back on Sunday July 24 and went to my stepdaughter's for a children's birthday party. When she told me it was Julian I had a flashback to the TV reports."
The case has been full of irony for Annette, the former Blackburn councillor who saw her son's killer convicted on the day of the local council elections.
She added: "There was mention of the Fred West case during the trial and Heather West's body was found on Julian's birthday, February 23.
"How many times do you say to children 'I could kill you' or 'They have dug that up'? I could never say that again.
"I have thought about nothing else since Julian's body was found and have been treading water. I have not been able to think about life after the day of the verdict."
"But the police have been wonderful. I regard them all as friends. At times they had to ask some very nasty questions but they have been very, very supportive, beyond the call of duty."
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