Double take

Yet despite the spiralling number of twins and triplets in this country, people are still treating them as one unit such as "the twins" and not as individuals in their own right.

This week the charity Twins and Multiple Births Association (TAMBA) is holding a "Twins, Triplets and More Week" to highlight the need to treat such children as individuals with their own wants, needs, personality and identity.

A family fun day at a theme park is one of a long list of events staged for the week aimed at promoting individuality and a national survey by TAMBA to mark the week has revealed some interesting trends - but the multiple-birth people we found in East Lancashire seem to be departures from the norm.

The survey said that most parents do try to reinforce their children's separate identities by steering clear of names that sound the same or start with the same letter and by dressing them differently.

But mother Ena Scott, of Avenue Parade, Accrington, said that dressing her adopted twin girls identically and naming them Sharon and Susan did nothing to harm their individual development.

"It has not made the slightest difference," claimed Ena. "There is this theory that they don't form their own identity if they are dressed the same but they are very different and very individual with their own ideas and own hobbies," she added.

And the 25-year-old twins really are like chalk and cheese. Sharon is a craft person and became a teacher in Morecambe after qualifying at Chester College. Susan, who graduated at Lancaster University, cares for elderly patients at Wigan Hospital and loves painting. Sharon is boisterous while her sister is quiet and both have had their own friends from the word go.

The pair's father Ken is also a twin but any similarity with his brother Walter has got to be down to just teeth.

Both men started their careers making dentures in separate dental businesses - but that is where the similarity ends. The TAMBA survey found that the majority of pre-school twins had the same friends but Ken and Walter didn't share anything - especially mates!

"We had our own looks and our own sets of friends. We had our own ideas, thoughts, likes and dislikes. I loved photography and my brother hated it. People did try and treat us as a pair but our whole outlook was so totally different, you wouldn't even take us as being related," said Ken.

He added: "We had no special bond but one peculiar thing is that wherever he was in Accrington town centre I could find him. I knew exactly where he was and the route he had taken - it was like an internal radar but that disappears with age."

TAMBA believes it is important to treat twins and triplets as individuals and to try to separate regularly so they can develop their own sense of personal identity which will help them cope with self-doubt, develop a strong self-image and help them to handle full separation from their twin at school, college, work or in other relationships.

The TAMBA guide books are the bible of 27-year-old mother-of-six Amanda Smedley, who has six month-old triplets Laura, Nicole and Shannon.

"Having triplets is hard work and you have to have a lot of time and patience. I don't know what I would do without TAMBA. I have learned so much from the literature and it is helping me through," said Amanda who lives on Norfolk Grove, Church with husband John and other children Christopher, eight, Daniel, six, and Patricia, five.

Amanda follows TAMBA's advice and dresses each triplet individually and and spends time doing different activities with each child. "Shannon and Laura are identical but even now they have their own personalities. Nicole is active and boisterous and needs a lot of attention. Laura is the quite one - she's no trouble at all. Shannon's personality is in between these two," she said.

But she added: "One thing they all are is happy. They are always smiling and when they are in their bouncy chairs they all hold hands. They know each other is there."

Marion Logan, a members of TAMBA's national management committee, said: "We are a lifeline to a lot of people. It is difficult to cope with one child but when you have two there is double the problems and double the amount to cope with. There is an awful lot of pressure involved in a multiple birth and the sheer cost of the exercise is massive."

The group produces literature, organises fun and educational days, has shop discounts and a confidential support line. For more information contact Marion on 01942 519578.

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