Absent dad's anguish

I recently separated from my wife due to her adultery. However, although I work in Blackburn I still choose to live in Wigan to be near my children. I am caught in the trap. I want to be with my children; the courts say that they should reside with their mother and that I must pay for their upkeep and hers.

Therefore, I travel daily to work, to an area that is relatively inaccessible unless you drive a car - as must some of the dads referred to in this article.

It would be sheer nonsense to deprive 'absent dads' of their driving licences, as this would surely hamper the mobility of the workforce and encourage more people to resign their fate to the state.

I do not wish to make generalisations and there must be certain cases where 'dads' generally abandon their children and the responsible parent. However, his suggestions seem to be the typical 'hammer to crack a nut.'

My situation developed through no fault of my own, yet according to John Blunt I should be penalised if I cannot keep up payments, and especially if I choose to eventually enjoy a future relationship, even though my wife may continue a relationship, which in my opinion is detrimental to the mental well-being of my children.

I do not intend to forego my responsibilities, yet I am faced with not only paying the mortgage on my previous residence, maintenance of the children, paying the rent for my modest flat, and trying to live, but also with the likelihood of losing my driving licence if at any time I am unable to keep up payments.

I agree that absent parents should contribute to the up-keep of their children, but the regulations, as they stand, do not take into account the hardships endured by the legally removed absent father, with or without a new 'family.'

Name and address received.

Converted for the new archive on 14 July 2000. Some images and formatting may have been lost in the conversion.