Rock FM's zaniest DJ

I am told a 77-year-old woman has won a wet T-shirt contest. She didn't mean to ... but she spilt her Ovaltine down her front!

Soccer hardman Vinnie Jones is appearing is a deodorant ad. As if anybody would be brave enough to tell him he needs a bath!

A professor has announced that Star Trek fans become addicted. Just recently, with my heavy workload, I decided to go to Workaholics Anonymous but when I arrived, they were closed.

A sign on the door said "Gone for lunch - back in 30 minutes." Ah well ...

An Ealing fireman has made £250,000 selling sex films. Don't tell me, he's a member of Extremely Blue Watch.

I understand he's been signed off from work with breathing problems. Mind you, these only developed after inspecting his stock!

COMPETITION -I have a sensational prize to give away this week - exclusive to Citizen readers.

Yes, folks, one lucky reader and a friend can meet superstar Gary Barlow during my Breakfast Show on 97.4 Rock FM on Thursday, July 3.

Just think, you'll be able to share the studio with the former Take That heart-throb!

For a chance to win this superb summer prize, just send the answer to the question below with your name, address, age and day-time telephone number to: Gary Barlow competition, Preston Citizen, 3 Winckley Court, Chapel Street, Preston, PR1 3JJ.

The question is: How many members were there in Take That?

The prize is strictly limited to two people (a winner and a friend), and will be awarded to the first correct entry drawn from the box after the closing date of June 27.

Converted for the new archive on 14 July 2000. Some images and formatting may have been lost in the conversion.