THE politically-correct term for a pet is now Companion Animal.

Can't see many glamorous young women sending off their photos in the hope of becoming the Penthouse Companion Animal of the Month!

They reckon that in five years time, we will be able to buy mobile phones which double as video cameras, play computer games on a built-in screen and link up to the Internet.

Apparently, they won't fry your brains any more than normal mobiles but you will dislocate your shoulder trying to lift them up to your ear.

New research shows gorillas make love only once every two years. No wonder bouncers on the door at nightclubs always look so grim!

I read an interesting feature recently on stars who get to keep the clothes they wear in films.

I can't help thinking it's not much of a deal for Sharon Stone.

If Scotland gets its own Parliament, it is believed hanging could make a comeback there.

That's if you don't count the hanging they've already got with sporrans and what Scotsmen don't wear under their kilts.

...is it called a TV set when you only get one?

This week's prize up for grabs is a copy of the hot new Def Jam R&B compilation featuring LL Cool J, Blackstreet, Warren G and many more.

To be in with a chance to win one of two copies of this superb CD, send the answer to the following question with your name and address to: CD comp, Preston Citizen, 3 Winckley Court, Chapel Street, Preston, PR1 3JJ. The closing date for entries is August 15.

Name the regular reader of The Biz on my Breakfast Show.

Converted for the new archive on 14 July 2000. Some images and formatting may have been lost in the conversion.