I WISH to report a sighting in Accrington of a once-rare, now all-too-common plant.

The one I spotted was at the corner of Electricity Street and Hyndburn Road.

It is Chocwrapy Cannaris Crisppacyii (or the Greater Common Eyesore).

It is to be found within one munch or drink of a retail outlet. In order to "flower" the plant needs polluting by Idlelus Pestus Vulcaris (the Common Litter Lout).

This single-brain-cell creature flourishes because it is tolerated by law, the police and council.

Despite its limited intelligence it can communicate with others of its ilk and if others are selected for Drastic Action it soon gets the message.

However, it seems the Council is wedded to dealing with the effect (at enormous cost) rather than cause - a sort of "we don't want the bother of dealing with a few in order to deter the many."

I won't mention Boxus Pavyii Pizzaris, it's too painful.

D PRATT (MR), Plantation Street, Accrington.

Converted for the new archive on 14 July 2000. Some images and formatting may have been lost in the conversion.