IF you are bored of the usual holiday destinations, why not try a break with a difference?

On the Isle of Wight, there's a new holiday camp set up where you join members and act as Red Indians. It's popular, but there's no need to make a reservation, there's one already built for you to stay on!

A randy town crier has been caught out by his loud voice and inability to switch off from his job - he got caught out while being involved with a married woman. During the throes of passion he couldn't help shouting loudly 'oh yez, oh yez, oh yez'!

More talks continue with scottish clubs keen on the formation of a breakaway super league. It will, if it goes through, be the first league to be sponsored by a milk chocolate biscuit.

Fergie is contacting her spiritual side and hoping for guidance from people on the other side. This follows her appointment in America as spokesperson for Weight Watchers. So with her new friends it's official, Fergie's out of extra large and into mediums.

Johnny Briggs - Mike Baldwin in The Street - has caused outrage in golfing circles by claiming women shouldn't be allowed to play the sport. He claims they are snails and no good at the game. I don't think it's his fault, he's suffering from golf war syndrome.

A chef has written a musical in praise of Chicken Tikka Masala. The first act's not bad, but 15 minutes into the second act, you get the feeling that it's all repeating on you!

Tessa Sanderson former Olympic gold medal javelin thrower still has lots of toy boy admirers. She's 41 and according to an interview, though she has lots of admirers, she hasn't found anyone to settle down with because it's hard to find any man she can trust as far as she can throw!

This week we are giving away three first prizes of a bag of current chart CD singles.

All you have to do to be in with a chance of winning is answer the question below.

Answers on a postcard with your name, address and day time phone number to: South of the Border Competition, Kev Seed Column, The Citizen, 3, Winckley Court, Chapel Street, Preston, PR1 3JJ to arrive by October 3.

Whose new single is called 'South of the Border'?

Listen to Kev Seed's Breakfast Show on Rock FM every weekday morning 6-9.30am.

Converted for the new archive on 14 July 2000. Some images and formatting may have been lost in the conversion.