PULSE - music and more, with Simon Donohue

SHE has lived in the cut-throat music biz world since her teens.

She has endured the negative publicity of a brother dubbed a weirdo around the world, has had to read sordid reports of her long-term love Rene's supposed infidelities and has struggled with depression.

But it seems petite songstress Janet Jackson has finally overcome the biggest battle of her life.

At the age of 31, with a new, introspective album The Velvet Rope just out, she has come to terms with her childhood, or rather, the lack of it.

Thrust into the limelight along with her numerous siblings at an early age, Janet feels she missed out on the simple pleasures of a normal childhood.

For years she has resented the fact she could never play ball with other children because she had to work, never join teams because she was touring for a month, and was always sheltered from real, normal life.

Musically, too, she has often been in her brother's shadow.

But now she has spoken of her lost childhood - and how she has come to accept it. And she has done it by herself, with the support of friends and her lover Rene. She admits she has never confronted her mother with the painful memories of her childhood.

And Janet admits she doesn't want children of her own.

"It is really difficult," she says. "You don't have much of a childhood in this business. You are surrounded by adults and you grow up really fast.

"There are times you just want to do what the rest of the kids are doing, whether it's gymnastics or being on the softball team.

"You can't because you have to work, and then in a few days you are leaving for a month."

"But at the same time I never did not want to do what I was doing.

"I never wanted out, and I never said so, but I guess I just really wanted both."

Spending her childhood years in the limelight led to feelings of rejection and self-doubt, Janet admits, although she's now come through the dark years and is happy living life on her own terms.

One joyful note is her renewed relationship with Rene Elizondo.

Their affair hit a stormy patch when he was accused of infidelity and she was reported to be having a fling with Whitney Houston's pop star husband, wild child Bobby Brown.

But they seem to have out those problems behind them now. Janet gives a giggle and goes dewy-eyed when she mentions him.

"Rene is wonderful," she says dreamily. "I couldn't ask for a better person. He is just beautiful, inside and out. He is so supportive." Now, she says, she is happy the way things are, but has no plans to marry.

"We feel spiritually married. He is my soulmate. What we have is very special and we have worked very hard on it for 11 years.

"I am the opposite of my parents," she adds. They think living together before marriage is a sin, but I want to know who I am going to spend the rest of my life with."

And for a woman who has had so much upset in her life, she is certainly sure about that.

Sound studio offer

SYNDICATE* are hoping to encourage musical talent in East Lancashire.

The Burnley-based band, who released their acclaimed debut album The Smile Says It All earlier this year, have been spending recent months writing material for their next album in their studio.

"We've been experimenting with new sounds and styles," said guitarist Paul Yates.

"We are writing continually, and having a facility where we can record and experiment is a big boost for us."

The band's studio has become a second home to Syndicate*

"It's a very relaxed atmosphere and that really lends itself to getting quality work," Paul added.

"And because we are always looking for that new sound, we are constantly upgrading the studio."

Now the band are keen to get others to use the facility, which is based in Nelson.

"The music scene in the area isn't as vibrant as it used to be. But we hope our studio could be one of the sparks to get things going again."

If you'd like to use the facilities, Paul can be contacted on 0410 272294.

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