Tuesday Topic, with Christine Rutter
KEITH Myers tried in vain to soften his manly features under his shocking pink ringlets and admitted: "I resisted becoming a woman for a long time."
The 39-year-old continued fiddling with his make-up and his feather-lined hood and added: "I thought I had to be well into my 40s to become a woman but a couple of people approached me and said: 'Keith you simply must do it. You'd be perfect."
With a swish of his diamond-studded frock, he spread his brilliant plumage and settled into a seat. He summoned his sparkling pink lips into a pout, slid a wet finger across his face to smooth down an eyebrow and croaked: "Sometimes I do catch a look of myself in the mirror and think: 'My God. Is that really me?' Make-up is a great mask to hide behind. I understand now why women feel more confident with it on."
Keith has spent the last two years as a woman . . . well, as pantomime dame Widow Twankey to be precise.
"I love being a lady," he said. "Even if I feel like death I can put a bit of slap on and look all right. I do feel a bit exposed wearing a skirt, though. I'm not used to the draughts."
Actor Keith, who rubbed shoulders with the likes of Gary Oldman at drama school, has just finished a stint in panto at Colne Municipal Hall - his second role as a dame in two years.
His transformation is astounding. I challenge anyone used to seeing the amazing effects achieved in the mirrors of nightclub powder rooms not to be impressed. When this rather ordinary, quiet-looking bloke shuffled into the room sporting a sensible haircut, no-nonsense coat and cricket jumper, he was about to shock.
In the blink of an eye he was radiant in a shimmering salmon balldress - hiding red and purple spotted bloomers - and sequin-encrusted gloves. I popped a few questions to get an insight into what makes a man tick as a woman. Do you ever get an identity crisis switching from a woman to a man?
"Sometimes I go out and think 'What am I?' I forget to act masculine or feminine, depending on what I'm wearing.
What are the best and worst points?
"The worst point is it is impossible trying to get eyeliner on straight. As a man you can sit how you like without worrying about showing your knickers but you don't get your drinks bought for you."
What part of Widow Twankey is Keith Myers?
"The ability to be rather lewd. And we both have the self-deprecatory humour. You should laugh at yourself. It gives you power. People are laughing with you then, rather than laughing at you."
Who do you model your female characters on?
"A lot is Les Dawson, in the scenes when he used to be gossiping over the garden fence."
How long does it take to change from a man to a woman?
"20 minutes."
Which part of your transformation is the most difficult?
"Getting my contact lenses in first and also hiding my eyebrows and drawing them on further up my forehead."
What are your make-up tips?
"Start with a good base by having a shave. A cheap and effective facial scrub is loose road chippings in lard - but it has to be good quality lard." What is your most feminine feature as a man?
"Putting the toilet seat down."
What is your most masculine trait as Widow Twankey?
"The big booming voice."
Does she watch her weight?
"No. The more the better. She has an hour glass figure. The only problem is that all the sand has dropped to the bottom."
How would you describe yourself as a woman?
"A JCB with the elegance of an ostrich."
How would you describe yourself as a man?
"The character sometimes takes me over so I usually end up a bit like Danny LaRue."
How well would Keith Myers get on with Widow Twankey?
"I think they would be constantly competing. It would be a battle for who could shout the loudest. None of us takes life very seriously. We are both survivors, as well."
What do your family and friends think of you dressing up?
"My family knew before I did that I was into dressing up. They've always seen me as a drag queen. I used to dress up as a kid in my father's jackets and mother's skirts.
Do you think Widow Twankey is attractive to the opposite sex?
"Definitely. They just don't know it yet."
Converted for the new archive on 14 July 2000. Some images and formatting may have been lost in the conversion.
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