Tuesday Topic, with Christine Rutter

ALMOST 6,000 new cases of cancer are diagnosed in Britain each week. Marie Curie Cancer Care, which is celebrating its 50th anniversary this year, looks after a third of all people with cancer who want to stay at home during their illness. They have 6,000 nurses nationwide - 120 in Lancashire - who make this possible by providing free nursing care 24 hours a day, seven days a week, 365 days of the year. I talked to one of these nurses and the family who feel they could not have coped without her.

GRAHAME and Heather Oddie were a loving couple with a young family with a bright future ahead of them.

They lived in a comfortable home, had two healthy children and good careers. Heather worked for an optician and Grahame was a financial adviser.

The couple made the usual plans for their future together. They wanted to take the kids to Disneyland and they planned for extensions to their home.

One of their plans was realised. Heather and the children are soon to jet off to see Mickey Mouse in the States. But the children's father won't be going along on the trip. He died a few months ago, aged 36.

The Disneyland trip is proof that Heather and her sons are surviving the worst tragedy that can hit any family - to watch someone they love ravaged by a disease before slipping away.

"It was devastating. All our dreams were shattered," said Heather.

Today she is left alone to bring up her two sons. She believes she only survived the trauma of watching her husband die, and granting his wish of spending his last days at home, with the help of Marie Curie Cancer Care nurse Anne Watton.

"If Anne hadn't been there I would have been in hospital myself by now," admitted Heather.

Football and golf fanatic Grahame was told he had just two weeks to live after Christmas 1996.

He was diagnosed with skin cancer months before but treatment had kept the killer at bay. Eventually, however, the disease spread to other parts of his body and it was only a matter of time before it took his life. "We knew he was going to die but we didn't know when. It was mental torture," said Heather.

He wanted to die at home surrounded by the love and familiarity of his friends and family. Heather had given up work to look after him and at first was fiercely protective of her right to care for him alone.

"We wanted everything to be as normal as possible, for the kids' sake. But eventually the strain takes its toll. You are virtually on call 24 hours a day. I was woken up three times a night to help Grahame. I was trying to care for the kids as well. I felt unable to cope," said Heather, of The Pastures, Blackburn.

Suffering from exhaustion, her resolve to be sole carer crumbled.

Anne, 46, was drafted in to help five nights a week. Today, Heather's praise of Anne is evidence of her impact on the family. Anne's devotion and support were unswerving. Heather said: "The help was such a relief. She made sure Grahame was comfortable and pain-free. I trusted her. I could sleep at night. I had someone to confide in about my worries, as did Grahame, and I could spend more quality time with my husband. It takes a special kind of person to do this job."

Many people have heard of a Marie Curie Cancer nurse but don't really understand her role. Anne said: "Caring for a person demands a lot of commitment. We do the hands-on nursing in the home. The practical side."

She added: "Cancer has a major emotional impact. We act as emotional support for both the carer and the sufferer - just being there for the family, especially when death is very, very close. Carers don't want to lose their loved ones. They are frightened, unprepared, worried about the end but have to be very strong. We are someone professional they can rely on."

Anne, of Beacon View, Longridge, said: "Grahame was a lovely, lovely man - a fantastic husband and father. Life is very cruel."

Grahame defied doctors and lived on borrowed time for months, even managing to go on a last holiday with his family.

Heather said: "We made the most of every day. He was forced to go into a hospice for his last days because he was so ill.

"I don't know how I would have coped without Anne. She will always be special to us."

Every £12.50 raised for Marie Curie Cancer Care provides one hour of nursing care.

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