More World Cup fever:

World Cup madness draws ever nearer. The marriage guidance organisation RELATE has issued guidelines to help save your marriage through this summer's World Cup.

So, as a precaution in case you need them, we've listed some tips for you:

Rows generally start with one person monopolising the television, so couples should agree which games are unmissable and which aren't.

RELATE warns not to try to discuss the issue in the middle of a big match.

Alcohol should be kept to a minimum during discussions about the problem.

and if all else fails...

RELATE suggests that a partner who's ignored for football should try watching the other partner. They reckon: "You might find yourself entering into the spirit of the match, and at least be able to share some of the excitement."

So I decided to try it out with Carter...

During the match the other night, I stared at him while he watched the screen. He asked what the devil I was staring at, punched me and we've decided to part amicably.

THINGS your mum used to say:

When you pulled a face, why did she always say..."If the wind changes, your face will stick like that."?

Carter's joke of the week:

Wife: "You remind me of the sea."

Husband: "Because I'm untamed and romantic?"

Wife: "No, because you make me sick!"

WE read this week about a man in darkest Europe who's planning to spend a week in a glass tank with 120 poisonous snakes.

We've no idea why, but Carter reckons it's a load of old Cobras!

Great mysteries of life:

Why is it, when the batteries are running low in your remote control, instead of changing them you just push the buttons harder?

A few weeks ago, I promised to let you know when my wife was about to deliver our third baby.

By the time you read this, I'll be the proud father of a bouncing baby something or other.

I say it'll be a boy, Carter says a girl (I've already got two!). The only thing we know for sure is that one of us will be right!

Once again, we've teamed up with our friends at Warner Village Cinemas in Preston. Thanks to them, we can offer you the chance to win one of four pairs of tickets of a film of your choice.

Just answer the following question and you'll be entered into the draw:

Who stars opposite Gwyneth Paltrow in the new hit British-made film 'Sliding Doors'?

Send your answer, on a postcard addressed to Warner Tickets Competition, Preston Citizen, 3 Winckley Court, Chapel Street, Preston PR1 3JJ.

The first four correct entries drawn after Friday, May 22, will each win a pair of tickets. Normal Citizen rules apply.

Converted for the new archive on 14 July 2000. Some images and formatting may have been lost in the conversion.