DESPITE, or maybe because of, a recent Gallup poll revealing that 70 per cent of the public believe politicians aren't to be trusted - Lancaster city council has launched a charm offensive in a bid to woo local citizens.

Its three-pronged initiative involves a lesson in citizenship from the guy with the gong, a travelling 'meet the punters' roadshow and the keenly awaited "here's a million quid how shall we spend it?" challenge.

I kid you not. Of course, the official language reads Junior Citizen Project, Listening Council Roadshow and Community Challenge 2000.

Teaching children about civic duty, public administration and bureaucratic accountability is a fantastic idea. A guided tour past honorary aldermen, lessons from the mayor and special certificates for those youngsters who manage to stay the course. A quick tip kids: "Don't mention the words two or million."

The 'Listening Roadshow' has been set up because the council is keen to meet local people and hear their views. Listening to the people? As in actually listening to people and hearing correctly what they have to say?

Thousands of local residents shouted a big "no" to housing developments in Poulton, Altham Meadow, Know Hill and Nether Kellet but their protests fell on deaf ears. Has the political wax suddenly been syringed with the prospect of elections next May?

Scepticism aside, Citizen Smith looks forward to a healthy reduction in the council leader's allowances following this honourable public consultation exercise.

And finally, a chance to have your say in how the council spends £1 million. How about giving us our money back with a nice council tax windfall just before the election. We fall for these simple gimmicks you know... the public.

Let me take you back through the mists to 1987 when, under the headline 'Counting the Cost,' a Citizen front page happily reported that the opposition Labour group had bitterly savaged local Tory rulers for their handling of a disastrous tourism initiative in Morecambe. The outraged Labour group called for a thorough investigation by the District Auditor. After all, the country music flop would have to be paid for out of the public purse. And the entire cost of this fiasco which so upset the Labour camp?

A whopping £122,000.

Converted for the new archive on 14 July 2000. Some images and formatting may have been lost in the conversion.