A SERIES of chain letters has been sent to our offices recently and Carter's taken to ripping them up on air.

He reckons his luck can't possibly get any worse.

So if you get any at home or work, or your friends are troubled by them, just drop them off at Red Rose 999 for Carter and he'll destroy them for you.

DID you know that Carter's a mad fizzy drink fan? He was somewhat perturbed this week when several types were withdrawn from supermarket shelves.

Apparently twice the legal levels of benzine had been found in some.

Carter and I think we can remember anti-freeze being found in some once.

So we reckon only brake fluid to go and we'll be able to service our cars with a can of Tango!

THE subject of school came up the other morning and Carter tells me he was really 'arty' as a nipper.

I can't claim the same, as all my efforts in class looked like accidents.

Here's our top five of 'things you made in art class that you still have no use for'.

1. A block of wood with some holes drilled in it for pencils.

2. An ashtray - because when we were at school it was still cool to smoke.

3. Some kind of unrecognisable clay 'dinosaur'.

4. A really bad painting of your family that your mum still has on the fridge (and she still shows it to everyone who visits the house!).

5. Something that you made in metalwork that neither you nor anyone else remembers what it's for!

ONE of mine and Carter's favourite stars Roger Moore has apparently quit making films as he thinks he's a lardy tubber!

He caught sight of his shadow on a wall while bending to kiss a co-star and there were more chins than a Chinese phone book.

Carter says 'no Moore chocolate for him then!'

WHAT do you call a fly with no wings? A walk!

ONCE again, we've teamed up with our friends at Warner Village Cinemas in Preston. Thanks to them, we can offer you the chance to win one of four pairs of tickets to a film of your choice. Just answer the question below an you will be entered into the draw to win.

This week's question is: Who plays the lead role in Steven Spielberg's latest movie Deep Impact?

Send your answer on a postcard to Warner Tickets Competition, Preston Citizen, 3 Winckley Court, Chapel Street, Preston, PR1 3JJ.

The first four correct answers drawn after the closing date (June 19) will each win a pair of tickets. Normal Citizen competition rules apply.

Converted for the new archive on 14 July 2000. Some images and formatting may have been lost in the conversion.