GIVEN that only last week this column was noting how with their multi-choice menus and newspapers delivered to the inmates - to which one could add the colour TVs, telephones and the availability of booze and drugs - our prisons have all the characteristics of hotels, it comes as no surprise that they may yet have honeymoon suites as well.

As part of a review of visiting rights, ministers are to consider a plan to let prisoners have sex in jail, courtesy of conjugal visits for good behaviour.Nor would it surprise me if, in keeping with its slavish kowtowing to the gay lobby and its disregard for family values, they extended the scope of this to include partners of all sexes, whether they are married or not.

But wouldn't it be a departure if this tough-on-crime government asked some of the jailbirds' victims what they thought of the business of prisoners having passion sessions added to their already-extensive list of comforts?

Fortunately, Norman Brennan, director of the Victims of Crime Trust, has already given us an inkling of their reaction. "Absolute outrage," he said. Hear that, Mr Straw?

"What next?" Mr Brennan asked. "They will probably be given a guitarist to serenade them while they enjoy a candlelit dinner together."

The sad, but ludicrous, truth is that, nowadays, you wouldn't dare bet against it.

Converted for the new archive on 14 July 2000. Some images and formatting may have been lost in the conversion.