The Wacky World of sport

WHEN you are driving down the long and boring (sorry, winding) roads of Norway and Sweden, the world does not seem such a small place after all . . . until you round the next bend.

And there was the sign "Moss Syd".

Now spelling never was my strongest point but, just in case, I wound up all the windows and locked the doors!

Even in Scandinavia where they boast loads of space but not too many people to fill it, there are plenty of reminders of home.

On the way from Oslo to Grebbestad - the idyllic fishing village where Rovers played their first match - there was a sign for a town called 'Berg'.

Never knew Henning was so famous.

Then came Grebbestad, which, according to Ewood exile Chris Tanner who had commuted from his home in the North of the country, is one of the most inaccessible places in Sweden.

It boasts thousands of tourists every summer but only one major hotel, and there was a surprise in store when I called in at the supermarket alongside.

There, displayed in pride of place, was a stack of packets containing . . . Fisherman's Friends!

For those who don't happen to know, the Lofthouse family, who own the Fisherman's Friends company, are lifelong Rovers supporters and were there in the bad old days when top-flight football was just a memory.

Bet they'll be delighted to know the export drive is working well. At Grebbestad's tiny but picturesque ground, which was staging the game against IFK Gothenburg, I happened to ask a bloke in T-shirt and shorts if he knew whether there were any Press facilities.

For some reason (probably because the 'facilities' were on the lines of Pleasington Playing Fields) the question prompted an outbreak of laughter from all around.

Still, you can't beat the Scandinavians for hospitality and he immediately whisked me into the clubhouse lounge outside the dressing rooms, offered a cup of coffee and a banana - yes, a banana, not a meat pie - before explaining: "I am the chairman of Grebbestad Football Club. If you want anything, just ask me and I will try to fix it for you."

And, on arrival at the tiny stand, there were a couple of seats reserved with "Press" on the sheet of paper sellotaped to the bench.

He should have been called Jim.

You can just imagine Martin Edwards or Alan Sugar going to such trouble, can't you. Dream on.

After Sweden it was back to Norway and the biggest talking point among the fans - apart from Andy Carruthers' group whose baggage had rather inconveniently disappeared at Oslo Airport (it turned up 24 hours later) - was, as always, the prices.

In Fredrikstad, Rovers' base and the venue for tonight's game, one restaurant was offering a lunchtime special menu for 55 kroner, just over £4.50. Next door, there was a bar selling significantly less than a pint of beer for 52 kroner, or about £4.30.

Someone in this country has got their priorities sadly wrong.

Mind you, eating out isn't always so simple.

The menu in another restaurant offered 'smoked FRONT and egg mayonnaise' and that was the English version!

Needless to say, I made my excuses and left by the BACK door.

It was a reminder of the Champions' League match in Warsaw and the restaurant advertising: "We do 'knuckle' 10 different ways".

I'm sure they did but didn't I see a McDonald's just around the corner . . .

By the way, 'Offer of the week' came from a Norwegian couple I met in Fredrikstad, an invitation back to their campsite for a special karaoke night.

Fortunately I have seen the Eurovision Song Contest once to often and decided to give that one "Nil points" and a miss.

P.S. It really is amazing how many Scandinavian fans turn out to these games in Rovers kit. So far, sightings of Rovers strips have certainly outnumbered a certain red version with 'Sharp' on the front. Now that must be worth recording - long may it continue. REMEMBER Peter White's little moan (totally out of character, I might add) about the sports editor nabbing all the best trips, a couple of weeks ago? Well, judging by this computer enhanced snap it doesn't look like he was having too bad a time either, does it? - Sports editor

Converted for the new archive on 14 July 2000. Some images and formatting may have been lost in the conversion.