A HIDDEN stadium, Red Indian war drums, and a man called McSporran.

Yup, the footie season's back. All this madness and more was the reward for the 1,400 Clarets fans who made the eight hour round trip to Adams Park last weekend.

There again, it bordered on the miraculous that the travelling hordes found the ground at all, as Wycombe appeared hell bent on making it Buckinghamshire's best kept secret. Eventually, having negotiated the labyrinthine complexities of an industrial estate larger than Roy Keane's pay packet, we discovered it tucked away in a secluded corner. More of a jungle hideaway than a modern, accessible sports stadium.

Once admission to the Forbidden Temple of High Wycombe had been achieved, the true madness began. To counter the effect of the sweltering heat, a mate bought a bottle of Coke. Bizzarely, they wouldn't allow him to keep the bottle top. "God knows why," he shrugged. "Maybe they think you look stupid enough to swallow it" I suggested. He swiftly disabused me of this theory by way of a sharp smack to the back of the head.

And so, after a summer of empty Saturdays, much thumb twiddling and cringing at the increasingly depressing joke that is the England cricket team, we were underway.

Soon enough Wycombe won a corner. To the Chairboys this was obviously a mighty achievement. It was heralded by the playing of Injun war drums over the PA system. At this point I looked over at the Wycombe dugout, where manager Lawrie Sanchez had astonishingly donned a ceremonial Apache head dress, and was busy passing the pipe of peace amongst his substitutes.

Oh how we laughed! Until the man with the most Scottish surname in the world - ever, pooped our party. If the gloriously monikered Jermaine McSporran can live up to his name, a long and prosperous future in the game is his.

Stan responded to the Injun onslaught by sending on the cavalry, aka Ronnie Jepson. From 4-5-1 to 4-3-3, via 4-4-2 (not a bus route, but Stan's tactical masterplan), Jepson was the lynchpin which allowed the Clarets to be more adventurous and claim a deserved share of the spoil.

Leaving Adams Park, the tannoy announcer relayed information about where our coaches were parked. "And take care crossing the road" he said. He meant it too. From cowboys and Indians to care in the community - what a club. We've got 10 more months of those . . .

Converted for the new archive on 14 July 2000. Some images and formatting may have been lost in the conversion.