PAUL Weller admitted he was just glad to be alive as he fought his way back from serious illness to resume his Burnley career.
The Clarets midfielder is fighting fit again after three operations to replace an ulcerated bowel which have kept him out of senior action for more than 12 months.
And the 24-year-old revealed that even in the depths of his despair, he didn't worry about whether he would ever play again.
"I was just glad to be alive," said Weller, who underwent surgery after a course of drugs failed to ease increasing pain and rectify the problem that first surfaced almost two years ago.
Since being given a clean bill of health, bar a few tablets and six-monthly checks with his surgeon, Weller has stepped up his comeback which has now reached reserve team level and a place in the first-team squad.
"My stomach hasn't been a problem. I have always felt confident with that. I just felt nervous being on the pitch again for the first few games.
"I had to see whether I could still kick a ball," he said.
That barrier overcome, Weller is itching to confirm his well-being with a return to the Nationwide League stage.
"I can't wait to get back on that pitch for that," he said.
"I've got to keep playing as many games as possible to get my fitness and try and force my way back in.
"It will be pretty hard while we are playing well but it's a case of waiting for my chance and snatching it when it comes." This time last year Weller may have been pitched back into the fray already.
But these are competitive days at Turf Moor with a big and successful squad which has taken the Clarets into the promotion places.
"It's felt weird seeing so many players coming and going. Not being at the club every day, although I did watch the home games, there were players walking past me who must have thought 'who's that'," added Weller, who is in his ninth season at Turf Moor.
"There have been so many changes but the manager has got things turned round and the lads are doing well. I mean, we're top of the league."
Meanwhile, wing-back Paul Smith missed training today to receive treatment for a dead-leg but should be fit to continue against Brentford at Turf Moor on Saturday.
Before that, Brentford put their 23-game unbeaten League run on the line against Cardiff City at Griffin Park tonight.
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