The Shelley Wright column THERE are exactly 10 weeks to go until Millennium Eve and the promise of one of the biggest parties the world has ever seen - but can you find anyone in East Lancashire who actually knows what they are going to be doing when the clock finally strikes midnight on December 31, 1999?
I can't and, more to the point, I can't find anybody who really, truly gives a damn about the whole thing either. Oh dear. It's not good, is it?
To be honest, I just can't believe how people have collectively dismissed the whole thing in the face of all the hype and with little more than two months left, I don't see how it's going to change either.
The way we're going this all-encompassing monumental bender is just not going to happen, if you ask me.
I mean, have you ever seen such indifference towards something that has never and will never be seen again in our lifetime?
And I wouldn't mind but people around here normally get excited about the slightest thing. You only have to look at Rovers or the Clarets to see that - and we're talking about a major event here, not a gang of blokes running around an increasingly muddy field.
And one that is unusual in that nobody quite knows what effect it will have on the world, no less.
Some say planes may drop from the sky like flies as Big Ben chimes 12, sending anything with an electronic clock out of control - but is anyone bothered? No, they're just moaning about the fact the price of flights to exotic destinations over the period have gone up. Have they gone totally mad? Because I for one don't want to be thousands of feet up at any price if the lights are going out, though I must admit sitting in watching the TV in a power-cut doesn't sound much fun. But nobody I know seems to care either way, though you can't really blame them for that when you think back to that other "life-changing" event - the solar eclipse. (Or should I say that moment in August when it clouded over for a second and looked like it was going to rain?)
And when you remember that, I suppose I can see why people aren't really that bothered about where they are or what they're doing at the Millennium - and especially in the face of such overwhelming, constant hype. In fact, I think all the fuss has had the opposite effect of getting everybody in the mood and made Millennium Eve the biggest turn off since The Baldy Man.
If it carries on it the whole thing will be an undoubted flop and with that in mind, I reckon anyone with any ideas about how East Lancashire can mark this momentous occasion should step forward immediately and make themselves known.
I think you'll agree we're in need of some serious inspiration here - and I for one don't want to be telling my grandchildren in 50 years that I sat in watching Clive James and Barbra Streisand, do you? No, I thought not.
One of the problems with my friends is that we all spent the first part of the year fretting about what we were going to do because we didn't know if we were working or not and now we know we're free to party the night away, nobody seems to care less.
Then there's the fact we've been brainwashed into thinking this is to be the biggest night of our lives - or else - and the suggestion we might wobble up to the White Horse for a few bevvys just doesn't seem to fit the bill. So, at the moment, we're all refusing to commit ourselves to anything, just in case something better comes along.
And it's becoming a particularly vicious Catch 22.
You see I'm considering having a bash at my house but don't want to commit until I know what everyone else has planned and meanwhile they can't say what they're going to do until they know what I'm doing - and so on and so on. Aaargh! So, on second thoughts, I think I might just stop in bed and forget the whole thing. Sound familiar?
Converted for the new archive on 14 July 2000. Some images and formatting may have been lost in the conversion.
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