A fan's-eye view from Ewood Park, with Phil Lloyd

I DON'T know about you, but I've been getting to my wits' end with the managerial platitudes offered to Rovers fans as our band of overpaid underachievers explores the lower reaches of Division One.

At first Kiddytalk, as I call it, sounded like the limited vocabulary so often employed by football people to ensure nothing of any interest is said to the media.

'The lads did all I could ask of them,' said Mr Kidd last season, as we went down miserably, gutlessly, without even the semblance of a fight.

This season, different words but similar results and (this is what really chokes the fans) against much worse opposition.

'We treat every side with respect,' says Mr Kidd as the supporters see the likes of Port Vale and Palace take points at Ewood and the mighty Swindon prove too much for our brave, respectful boys.

'The lads have done well in training and the spirit in the camp is first-class.'

Well, frankly, I don't care about all that.

I'd much prefer the players to get all the misplaced passes and underhit crosses out of their system on the training ground, not during the games I've paid to watch.

And I don't want to hear about our great team spirit when the club has spent over 12 months in freefall, with no sign of a parachute!

'We kept our shape and our passing game.' Well, yippee. It was such a consolation to hear that after the Palace game when our players (to quote Dave Bassett's immortal phrase) 'couldn't hit a cow's backside with a banjo.'

Maybe Mr Kidd thinks you get extra points for keeping your shape in Division One. Maybe he thinks the Rovers fans were born yesterday.

So, it was an unexpected change to hear the manager criticise his players' lack of second half determination against City.

But take a word of friendly advice, Brian.

Don't try the 'we've just got to keep working hard and things will turn around' line with Mr Walker.

Jack is paying you for results, not effort, and you're not giving him any. Once he reaches his wits' end with your Kiddytalk, there'll be no time for words. Just time to pack your bags.

See SPORT LETTERS

Converted for the new archive on 14 July 2000. Some images and formatting may have been lost in the conversion.