A fan's-eye view from Ewood Park, with Phil Lloyd

I HAVE it on good authority that Uncle Jack and the Rovers board have decided to adopt a beauty contest format to decide who should be the new Rovers manager. This column now gives a unique insight into events at Ewood since the weekend.

Fortunately, as the contenders are hardly in the first flush of youth, our fly-on-the-wall cameras arrive too late to record them parading in their swimsuits. They do however catch them in their evening wear, being interviewed by Terry Wogan.

First to tiptoe elegantly down the steps is a snappy dresser replete with moustache and a Scottish accent. Has spent time abroad recently, after a few health problems. Controls his fiery temperament well in the interview, but has clearly upset the customers at more than one previous employer. A long shot.

Number two's boyish looks belie his 40-odd years. Has tasted success, but left his last position under a cloud. Not your typical football type, preferring to visit Drewery's rather than breweries. Past collaboration with a Mr C Waddle may count against him. Tells Wogan he wants to 'help young players find their inner self'. Strange man. Rank outsider.

Next an older contestant who says he originally came from somewhere called 'The Bootroom'. Worked briefly with a Frenchman in an unsuccessful double act. Friendly and approachable, but maybe not tough enough to become the new 'Mr. Blackburn Rovers'? And could the club stomach all those 'Roy of the...' headlines again so soon? Probably only a possible. Another of more advanced years at number four, a no-nonsense Londoner claiming Irish descent. Not the most stylish or personally charming of the contenders, but has experience of working with sow's ears that may come in useful. Now back in good health after a flutter recently. Might win the board's vote, but the insurance premium could be off-putting.

Tonight's final contender hails from the North-East but has worked locally in recent years. Well-presented but a gritty personality, he has a track record of relevant success, though financial constraints in previous job led to him leaving his Reeboks behind. Would save the club the costs of a house move. Has a fighting chance.

Well, would you place the crown on the head of one of these men? Or would you look at a few more 'beauties' before deciding? Me? I'm off to lie down in a darkened room, to get over this recurring nightmare of Joe Kinnear in a swimsuit!

Converted for the new archive on 14 July 2000. Some images and formatting may have been lost in the conversion.