IMAGINE the view that an alien spaceship might have of Britain tomorrow night as the Millennium celebrations break out - down below there is a blaze of light, megatons of pyrotechnical explosions and lasers and illuminations everywhere . . . except in East Lancashire,

As the rest of the country and the world mark the momentous midnight moment when those new noughts appear on the calendar, our towns - among them those of a would-be city - will appear as a black hole amid all this brilliance.

For apart from the brief flash of two five-minute firework displays - and even the location of those is being kept from the public - and the flicker of a solitary beacon, the official festivities in Blackburn with Darwen, Burnley and Accrington and elsewhere in our region add up to next to nought.

The curmudgeons who have predicted the Millennium will be a damp squib will have got it right hereabouts.

Yet why has there been this pathetic, low-key response to an event that happens only once every one thousand years? Surely, our civic leaders and officials have not been taken by surprise.

We are told that they have followed the advice of the "emergency services" not to put on any big show in confined town centres.

Oh, really?

Who are these faceless, party-pooping dismal jimmies who seem to be more interested in a quiet life than a celebration?

Can't they look around the rest of the country and see how other towns and cities are staging giant events, destined to draw monster crowds on to the streets - and all with the approval and supervision of the emergency services there?

For millions the world over, officials are putting on displays that people will remember for the rest of their lives.

Here, the faint-hearted have plotted to make it all forgettable.

Sad!

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