I WOULD like the councillors of Blackburn with Darwen to authorise fellow councillors on the appropriate committee to have free, exclusive use of a 'Lotus' for one month: for themselves and their families.

I estimate the total cost to be in the region of £5.38.

Not bad, you may think but the 'Lotus' in question is not the high-powered car, but the Lotus toilet paper pack, as supplied in Blackburn with Darwen public toilets.

I am confident that this totally inadequate product, if inflicted on their own families, would within days result in blistering, strident marital communication of an unwelcome variety.

If this 'paper' were any thinner, it wouldn't be there.

No doubt, the embarrassment factor prevents the airing of complaints.

But I hope this airing will wipe the smile off the face of whoever thinks this particular item will do for Joe Puiblic - I bet you won't find it in the town hall toilets, councillors for the use of.

Before Hyndburn councillors start to snigger, they supply a totally intractable, shiny, atom-bomb proof, ex-World War Two product. Different product, different problem but equally useless.

The only criterion should be "Would I give it houseroom?" not "What's the cheapest I can get away with?"

D PRATT, Plantation Street, Accrington.

Converted for the new archive on 14 July 2000. Some images and formatting may have been lost in the conversion.