THANK goodness for Phil Neville.

For, without that attempt to kick Romanian striker Moldovan into Moldova, the aching embarrassment would have dragged on.

I was surely not alone in urging Ganea to slot the penalty home.

The added bonus is that our loyal band of knuckle-scrapers are now scratching their heads, groping for new focuses for their hate.

But the real relief was derived through a desire to see an end to our enduring footballing humiliation.

It's difficult to become too nasty about Kevin Keegan, as he is a master at generating pity instead of the deserved contempt.

Which player could have failed to have been inspired by his repeated touchline gesture, urging his men to inhale deeply?

Perhaps that's why we ran out of puff at the end, as he clearly forgot to remind them to breathe out.

I do, however, admire this back to basics approach as it is clear that England footballers need re-educating in the most rudimentary of skills.

That's evident from the tournament statistics, courtesy of planetfootball.com:

Only Norway achieved fewer successful passes than England managed against Germany (and where do most of the Norwegians ply their trade?) England faced more shots on target than any other side in the tournament

We managed just three shots on target per game and the total of 20 was the worst in the tournament

Our keepers rolled the ball out to our defenders just three times during the tournament

Phil Neville made a total of 18 unsuccessful long passes, the seventh worst record in the tournament

That said, it would be unfair to make Neville a scapegoat. He is just a symptom of more debilitating ailments. After all, Neville does not even merit a regular place in his club side and was gallant in stepping into the left back breach.

If Keegan is to lead us into the World Cup 2002 qualifiers (and if Bryan Robson is favourite to succeed him then I suppose we will just have to endure more lungs inflated with his particular brand of rhetorical hot air) wider lessons must be learnt. The manager was only partly responsible for England's dismal display.

But he could, without doubt, have done better. For instance, where's the logic in appointing a totally unproven backroom staff? Why, oh why, did he persist with the ineffective Alan Shearer?

Why was Beckham's contribution limited to the one-dimensional predictability of zipping in crosses from the wing which, far more often than not, resulted in lost possession -- England's major failing?

How was David Seaman's hair-dryer allowed to break down minutes before such a crucial game?

That last bit was just a bit of fun -- Seaman was actually injured -- because the search for answers is a far more serious matter.

The essence of the solution is that an England football team will never be able to challenge for international honours until individual players become accustomed to spending more time on the ball at Premiership level.

So the future of English football lies more directly in the hands of Arsene Wenger, Gerard Houllier, Gianluca Vialli, Alex Ferguson, David O'Leary, George Graham, Walter Smith, George Burley, Gordon Strachan and possibly Stuart McCall.

I hereby apply for French citizenship.

Neil Bramwell is the Sports Editor