REMEMBER I told you I couldn't get away with anything? Well, here's the proof.

I received this e-mail from Chester Zoo last week and almost died of a heart attack:

Dear Shelley, interesting to read you owe us £3.50. We normally feed shoplifters to the lions, so you got off lightly!

Don't want to sound petty but the statement 'you have to pay extra to breathe the air' was very silly. There are lots of huge maps around the place for visitors who don't want a guide. The guide costs £3.50 but there's a coupon inside for a free child admission worth £7 so it's pretty good value.

You should have cut it out before discarding the evidence.

If you paid a tenner to get in I'd like the name of the cashier who took it from you. The adult price is £9.50.

At least you can claim you aren't a scrounger -- you are the first known North West journalist who has paid to come in rather than ask for a press pass!

Pat Cade, public relations manager.

I'll consider myself told eh?